The Project Runway designers had to face their worst fear: wedding dresses. (Well, except for Carol Hannah, who used to make wedding dresses, so cutting one up is akin to “running into a church and swearing at the top of your lungs.”) This episode of Project Runway begins with Heidi telling the designers that they will have new models (cue panic); then when real-people models walk out in a variety of outdated wedding dresses (cut to gag-worthy nineties ballgowns and lace-necked, long-sleeved seventies styles), eyes are filled with utter horror. Then, a plot twist! They won’t be creating revamped wedding gowns, because the “models” are actually divorced, and, as Heidi explains, need help to turn their garments “into hip, cool outfits that they can wear in the next chapter of their lives” (because nothing says “I’m sexy, single, and ready to mingle” like a cut-off wedding gown). Irina, who the other designers (or at least Logan) are starting to hate on for her two consecutive wins, chooses her model first, selecting a divorcée with yards and yards of “crunchy” acrylic lace, while Shirin continues her streak of bad luck and gets stuck with a skimpy minimalist dress (only two yards of polyester, which means she can’t even dye it! Woe is Shirin). And so, the runway-show results.
Blue Cocktail Dress With Seamed Detailing
This look was deemed good enough by the judges to send Althea into the next round. We think it’s cute and flirty and probably good for a first date. And since it was the first look sent out, it reminded us just how ridiculous real people are when they try to strut like models.
Purple Bridesmaid-y Dress With Mismatched Bolero
We actually really liked this dress. The frothiness and tulle layers recall Lhuillier and Vera Wang, no?, which makes sense with Carol Hannah’s bridal expertise. The olive-colored bolero is just a bad idea, though. We don’t really get to hear what the judges think, since she’s quickly ushered into the next round.
Saran Wrap Bubble Dress
This dyed organza disaster — designed as a dress to go network in — had the judges up in arms. “She looks like tin foil!” says Kors, who we are so glad is back! “It’s like a metallic Hefty bag, cinched.” Mellon even utters those hurtful words “Worst-dressed list.” Christopher looks like he’s going to cry — again — and it puts him in the bottom three.
Epperson — the Loser
Pirates of the Caribbean Costume
This dress causes Heidi to have her first “Oktoberfest moment” of the night (she has two), while Mellon says she’s thinking more “pirates wench” and Kors thinks this divorcée’s date is definitely leaving if she walks in wearing that. We think it’s pretty bad, mostly the thick waistband.
Gordana — the Winner
Punked-Up Cocktail Dress
Gordana’s biggest challenge was to push herself past her usual “safe” designs. And with this dress — constructed out of dyed lining only — the judges think she did just that. Mellon likes the asymmetry of the neckline and Kors calls it “edgy and chic.” It’s enough to give Gordana the win and the last offer of immunity!
MOB Lace Frock
Although it’s, you know, matronly, we actually like this look. Like the judges say, it looks “expensive,” “polished,” “age-appropriate,” and “sleek and professional.” Everyone fawns over it and Heidi even calls it “unbelievable!” Irina looks pretty pissed when she doesn’t win again.
Elongated-Crotch “WTF” Trousers With Oktoberfest Top
Is the two-in-one shirt-vest (shest?) really ever a good idea? We think not. Neither are ultra-unflattering, high-waisted, droopy-crotched wool trousers. The ruffles on the top and slight lederhosen feel of the whole thing give Heidi her second “Oktoberfest” moment of the night, and the judges have problems with the look from head to toe. Logan barely escapes elimination. He’s still pretty hot, though.
Granola Granny Separates
While Nicolas followed the instructions of his divorcée — she wanted a cruelty-free getup without the use of animal materials like wool or leather — we think it’s straight-up fugly. But since the pants were cut much better than Logan’s (that’s not saying much), it was apparently enough to get Nicolas through to the next round.
Basically, a Cut-Off Wedding Dress
Somehow Shirin avoided a tragic Cher "Half Breed” situation (and ignored the wants of her client) by transforming the minimalist polyester wedding dress into a shorter, minimal polyester dress with some stitched detailing. While we think it’s a snooze fest, the judges liked it — even Kors, who admits: “I love a girl who loves a 'Half Breed' moment, let me tell you.”
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