Even though Kimora Lee Simmons's Life in the Fab Lane is returning for another season on the Style Network, the label has ordered more New Jersey–focused content. Jerseylicious, a reality show about the Gatsby salon in Green Brook, premieres this Sunday at 10 p.m., and aims to show the world what New Jersey is really like. The show's stars seem eager to set the record straight about all those things MTV's Jersey Shore got wrong. And hailing from Jersey, unlike most of the Shore cast, they have real Jersey cred behind them.
Olivia Blois Sharpe, a makeup artist in the salon and knockoff, poufless Snooki, wasted no time slamming the Shore girls in an interview with the Daily News:
"Real Jersey girls are a lot more fashion-forward," Sharpe tells The News. "Those girls were in their sweatpants all the time, their hair wasn't done, their makeup wasn't done. We're a lot more flashy."
In their defense, that's because they were drunk, hooking up, or hung-over most of the time. You can't always look pretty when your life revolves around those things, and those things only. Sharpe's co-star is Tracy DiMarco, a blonder Sammi knockoff, who is dating Sharpe's ex.
"We've just never gotten along," said DiMarco, 22. "I don't like anything she's about — her morals, her standards. It's still hard for us to be in the same room together," which is a little tough when you work at the same salon — hence, the drama.
"Morals"? "Standards"? That sounds terribly off for a show called Jerseylicious. Sharpe scoffed at the Shore cast some more:
"All those kids, their main priority was just partying," said Sharpe, who lives in Montville, N.J. "Our main priority is our job."
"...If I could make a living off of fist-pumping to house music, I'd be in there," she says. "In there like swimwear, but like, that's really not going to pay my bills."
But prioritizing a "job," upholding "morals" and "standards," and paying "bills" isn't what we want to see in a reality show about a Jersey salon. We want to see not what Jersey Shore supposedly got wrong, but what Jersey Shore didn't show enough of: how to get Jersey makeup and Jersey hair — how much eye shimmer and hair gel do they go through in a week? — and who among real Jersey residents wants to look that way.