This month's spring fashion issues felt pleasantly weightier than they've seemed in some time. From fashion spreads to celebrity portraits to ads, those extra pages were certainly put to good use. Love showcased spring Louis Vuitton in drag. Harper's Bazaar transformed Jean Paul Gaultier into a nun. Paper captured Erin Wasson at her truest self. And Esquire made Leonardo DiCaprio do housework. See those images and more in the slideshow.
Best Editorial — Paper
This was so well done — the scans by no means do it justice. Every shot was like a scene from Blair Waldorf's best dreams.
Best Male Model — Yuri Pleskun in Love
Now that is how you work a furry purse tail.
Best Model — Erin Wasson in Paper
This is so Erin. Who is she, exactly? These shots tell you: the girl who wants to roll around on the ground, not bathe, tool around a beach, wear outfits that make no sense, and get her ass kissed for it all.
Best Designer Portrait — Jean Paul Gaultier in Harper's Bazaar
Harper's Bazaar cast fashion people in some of filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar's most memorable scenes. Gaultier chose to be the nun from 1983 film Dark Habits, and appears to have dabbed on a bit of lip rouge for extra spice.
Most Disturbing Editorial — French Vogue
This model needs two things: a shower and a meatball sub. That's often the case in fashion spreads, but here it is painfully obvious.
Best Editor Portrait — Hamish Bowles in Love
Well, the purple hands finally give us a reason not to fixate on his mustache, which still looks smashing, by the way.
Best Flash Prevention — Surface
If Paris and Britney had exited their vehicles all those years ago in these Viktor & Rolf dresses, none of those scarring upskirt shots ever would have existed.
Best Beauty — Vogue
Lara Stone's body enchants the fashion world, but her face is gorgeous, too, and this makeup looks stunning. No eyebrows? No problem.
Best Dame — China Machado W
China Machado ran away with a bullfighter when she was 19 years old, became a couture model, and then became the first non-Caucasian to appear on a major American magazine cover. She's now "well into her 70s" and "draws the line at confirming her age," W writes. You can see how amazing she looks wearing Alexander McQueen and a dress made from photographs.
Best Ad — McQ
She's pregnant, eating cereal, and looks adorable. Not every girl can relate to pregnancy, but every girl can relate to bumming around in leggings and eating cereal out of the box in the kitchen.
Best Menswear Ad — Dsquared2
It's like the orange mocha frappuccino scene in Zoolander, but with water instead of gasoline.
Best Celebrity Portrait — Leonardo DiCaprio in Esquire
It's about time someone made him do this.
Most Awkward Headshot — Mia Wasikowska in Teen Vogue
"Just rest your cheek on that bush like it's a pillow. Hurry, before the fire ants reach the top!"
Best Utilitarian Fashion Editorial — Harper's Bazaar
Many magazines devoted editorials to utilitarian fashion this month. Harper's Bazaar's was global-warming-inspired, which provided an excuse to have Eniko Mihalik do things that were weirder than her outfits, which is rare for fashion spreads.
Crummiest Props — 10
Of course nothing makes clothes look better than furniture you might find on the street wrapped in plastic, tape, and other detritus.
Best Excuse to Bring Designer Bags on Safari — Kenzo
You can make it look more natural by carrying them on your head.
Best Set — 10
Something must be said for extremely pretty rock faces.
Best Skirt — Flare
A used-car salesmen wants his decorative parking-lot tinsel back.
Worst Shoes — Teen Vogue
The world needs neither Chanel clogs, shiny purple spotted clogs, nor open-toed white floral clogs.
Worst Shoes — Vogue
Friends, we have our first tie in the short history of these monthly awards! But this is how you know Anna Wintour is tight with Karl Lagerfeld: She can get away with pairing his Chanel jacket with Ugg slippers.
Best Bra — Elle
Best Celebrity Fashion Editorial — Pierce Brosnan in GQ
He looks good, he eats, he doesn't stain his suits while doing it — what's not to like?
Worst Celebrity Portrait — Robert Pattinson in Details
Aside from the two unnecessary naked women, just look at his face. How is that shot transposed onto a blue wall at all flattering? He looks like he has a mouth full of marshmallows.
Most Ridiculous Surfing Outfit — Elle
Chloé cape: $1,955.
Chloé sandals: $595.
Lisa Marie Fernandez one-piece: $385.
Movado watch: $1,695.
Vicki Turbeville feather bracelet: $190.
COST OF SURFING IN Elle: $4,860, board not included.
Best Wrestling Costumes — Paper
It's like the real-life version of Dazed & Confused.
Worst Styling — Marie Claire
We'd punch ourselves in the face, too, if we went out dressed like that.
Most Gratuitous Ad Campaign — Sam Edelman
Nothing sells shoes like a flash of nipple!
Best Spring Preview — Love
We have a friend who looks forward to spring every season in large part because you see so many more men on the street with their puppies. He probably likes to imagine this is what would happen if one of them invited him over.
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