This month, in the height of summer, magazines have a good excuse to put their models in less clothing than usual. French Vogue gave one only a rope and a modesty patch for his privates. Elle shot Miranda Kerr in tiny Prada shorts and a crop top to highlight her belly accessory. Vanity Fair had a few of the finest World Cup athletes strip down to their boxers, muscles ablaze. Vogue thrust Doutzen Kroes onto a beach with only a few designer beach accessories to cover herself, while editor Hamish Bowles posed on the beach in quite the opposite manner — fully clothed, half in a suit and half in a wetsuit. See those images and more in the slideshow.
Best Editorial - 10
The Berlin State Opera's prima ballerina, Polina Semionova, threw on a fabulous tutu and contorted herself with the help of an electrical wire. The images are awkward, beautiful, and hard to look at but impossible not to look at.
Best Jesus Figure - French Vogue
Sometimes fashion emotes best when no clothes are involved.
Best Crazy Eyes - Tati in 10
A bow of that size would drive a lot of women up the wall.
Best Designer Portrait - Roberto Cavalli in Harper's Bazaar
The disinterested lion closed the win for him on this one.
Best Designer Portrait (Tie!) - Dolce & Gabbana in 10
"Touch my nipples after the shoot, Domenico!"
Best Editor Portrait - Hamish Bowles in Vogue
Half-man, half-fish, all Vogue.
Best Athlete Spread - Vanity Fair
Counting ab muscles has always been a fun time killer.
Most Awkward Celebrity Photo Story - Cosmopolitan
James Van Der Beek plays a doctor seducing his patient in this editorial. However, the idea of a doctor just taking his patient from the operating table doesn't appeal to us, nor does the ending of this spread, in which the Beek and his love interest get wild in the room containing all the medical records. Hospitals should be sex-free.
Worst Celebrity Styling - Glamour
True Blood's Ryan Kwanten moonlighted as a love interest for Glamour's "Summer Hotness" spread. The hotness would have been much hotter if they put the man in a little less clothing. What a waste of pecs.
Most Distracting Lack of Bottoms - Elle
Our eye goes to the light on her ass, not the shoes.
Worst Accessories Story - Marie Claire
Good luck picking out the items you like from that pile!
Best Makeup - Flare
You know, to look at, not to wear. ("Hey, everyone! Look what Latisse did to ME!")
Best Mountain Goat Hair - Glamour
They're not pigtails, they're horns. Just say it: Glamour.
Worst Hair - Teen Vogue
The color just suggests someone spilled on the negatives or something.
Most On-Trend Child - Ralph Lauren
No pants, heels, a bandanna. This girl is on her way.
Best Belly Button Emphasizer - Elle
Because doesn't everyone who's not Miranda Kerr want to draw attention to that region?
Most Absurd Beach Towel - Vogue
Those terry zebras only cost more than $500. What else would you use to keep your tush off the sand?
Worst Vacation Photo - GQ
Yes, women are dying for their men to take them on a vacation so they can risk plummeting — naked — down a rocky cliff face.
Most Overdone Concept - 10
The sad, lonely housewife thing is getting tired; it feels like every major magazine has done one over the last year. Women have more to offer their fabulous outfits than empty suburbs!
Worst Use of Raw Fish - Esquire
See man in clothes. See man in clothes cut raw fish. See man in clothes start fire to cook raw fish. Remember why Man vs. Wild is a waste of time.
Worst Summer Accessories - Dazed & Confused
Our friend on the left is in for sweaty face and homeboy on the right needs a top. Not a harness — a top.
Best Shower Scene - Cosmopolitan
This summer, bathe shamelessly like a golden retriever.
Worst Androgyny - French Vogue
The styling is a little reminiscent of Charlize Theron in Monster.
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