This is one of the last lazy summer months before the fall fashion issues start to get seriously beefy with pictures of winter clothes. Though the cold weather won't stop magazines from shooting nearly naked people, the time to shoot nearly naked people in bathing suits by pools is kind of running out. So GQ included some shots of Emanuela de Paula and Mehcad Brooks looking seriously hot in a poolside foreplay scene. V shot lots of scantily clad models, too, including one breast-feeding in a scene where she's supposed to be an athlete's wife. InStyle put Cameron Diaz in the same teeny Balmain dress magazines have been shooting to death all season. And Karl Lagerfeld kept himself covered as usual to pet a furry couch in British Vogue. See those shots and more in the slideshow ahead.
Best Beauty - Japanese Vogue
This picture is so pretty, and those stunning, unattainable braids are the best part.
Scariest Faces - Dazed & Confused
Who cares about the corset when he has tumors with fingers picking his nose?
Hottest Couple - Emanuela de Paula and Mehcad Brooks in GQ
The proximity of their faces to each other's genitals seems kind of unnecessary and gross, but once you consider how good-looking these two people are, it's easier to get past that.
Most Expressive Couple - Marie Claire
Despite how they're dressed, their expressions make you feel like you're the freak, and need to run to the supply room and press an ink pad over your eyes stat!
Least Expressive Couple - Surface
On the other hand, this would make such a pretty Xanax ad.
Best Gratuitous Parody - V
This spread is titled "Footballers' Wives" and features sexy ladies in the bleachers on a field as though they're the wives of athletes. V saw it as a fine occasion to get some topless shots of the hot models they cast for it, but the best thing about the pictures, which almost excuses the gratuity, is the styling. It's so accurately tacky!
Worst Use of Pole - German Vogue
A pole is one of those things you never want to remind you of dental floss.
Most Overexposed Celebrity - M.I.A. in Dazed & Confused, Nylon, and GQ
A couple of things stand out here:
1. Her head may be ... of a certain size, but she always dresses it fantastically.
2. If you had to guess which of these shots is from GQ, it wouldn't be as hard as Rihanna. In only one does she expose cleavage, which is refreshingly rare for her.
Most Overexposed Dress - InStyle
This Balmain number has been photographed to death now that the spring season is coming to a close. Since Demi wriggled into it first for the cover of W, it's been hard to think of a magazine that hasn't shot it. And there are probably only a handful of samples of this guy, and those desperately need to hit the dry cleaner and then be put to rest.
Most Robust Gorilla Arms - Rihanna in Elle
They're a good distraction from imagining the retouching that went into that area of her body where she very well may have, in place of pants, a giant wedgie.
Best Designer Portrait - Karl Lagerfeld in British Vogue
Get the lint roller — Karl has a pet couch! Possibly made from his own ponytails!
Best Vintage Photo - Helena Christensen in British Vogue
Helena looks sexy but not skanky, despite the corset, teeny shorts, and thigh-highs. There is something to be said for an allergy to body grease.
Worst Outfit Suggestion - Cosmopolitan
This is not day-to-night, this is day–to–go back to the closet to put on a shirt.
Most Dangerous Concept - German Vogue
Our girl looks a little fragile, figure-wise, to be hanging out in the skate park with raging, wig-wearing adolescents.
Best Alligator Arms - Flare
Goes to show the power of camera angles.
Worst Shoes for Crouching - Marie Claire
Magazine editors really have to take good care of their models' butts when spiky shoes are around, because there's an 80 percent chance they'll only get panties to wear in the next shot.
Best Editor Portrait - Grace Coddington in British Vogue
One of the reasons Grace may have ageless style is because if there's one thing that never goes out of style, it's a nice fluffy cat that looks like it just came out of the dryer. And Grace loves those.
Loudest Pants - Paper
When it comes to pants in this world, in these times, when they have become such a rare thing, everyone may as well go big or go home.
Worst Prop - Flare
We can just imagine that model going home and having a crisis about whether she and her colleagues are really treated any better than lawn decorations.
Best Poses - Janelle Monae in InStyle
Her set here is kind of plain and lame, but she's consistently jaunty and sprightly enough to make any picture amazing.
Worst Pose - Noemie Lenoir in Elle
Well, at least they didn't shoot this in the woods.
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