Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Swimwear 2011 wrapped up in Miami today. Naturally, the five-day parade of one-pieces, bikinis, tankinis, monokinis, and unikinis (but sadly, no mankinis) features more bronzer and boobage than every other fashion week combined. That's not to say, of course, that every offering looked like something out of a hot tub porno party — Trina Turk killed it with her psychedelic-paisley cover-ups; brands like Luli Fama and White Sands Australia breathed new life into the LBS (little black swimsuit); and even Ed Hardy delivered something wearable. Click ahead to see a slideshow of the week's biggest hits and ghastliest misses.
Hit: Ed Hardy
Pretty, right? Say what you will about Ed Hardy (we sure have), but this low-key, not-too-skanky swimsuit is elegant and hot.
Miss: Ed Hardy
Now that's the Ed Hardy we've come to know and loathe, complete with grommets and faux-tattoo detailing.
Hit: White Sands Australia
It's nice to see flattering, high-waisted bottoms, and the cool cut on top helps modernize the overall retro vibe.
Miss: Dolores Cortes
The brainstorming session probably went something like this:
"Jeggings are really hot right now; this would be a natural progression."
"So true. I'm pretty sure even Huggies makes diaper jeans."
Hit: Trina Turk
We love the idea of accessorizing a deep-V one-piece with a knockout statement necklace. Also: more silk bandannas at swimming holes, please!
Miss: Beach Bunny
Sigh. The poor thing looks like a Shar-Pei with gemstones.
Hit: Aqua Di Lara/Qiss Qiss
This cleavage-enhancing take on the LBS sports an inventive cutout — just beware of unwanted underboob.
Miss: Aqua Di Lara
The opposite of those skirted swim dresses: the swim shirt! Otherwise known as a dance costume.
Hit: Luli Fama
It's LBSs like this that ruin marriages.
Miss: Red Carter
A glitter-tulle cape + Studio 54 lamé + superhero underpants = unforgivable.
Hit: Mara Hoffman
This flowy tribal dress redefines summer chic; it's like a monokini meets a maxi dress, with cutouts in all the right places.
Miss: Ed Hardy
Possibly the least effective swimsuit cover-up, ever.
Hit: Crystal Jin
Sleek, simple, silvery, and all about the ruching.
Miss: White Sands Australia
This pink-tinged, jungle-patterned number does nothing to flatter the figure — and this is a model we're talking about here. What happens when real people get their pasty, cellulite-ridden hands on it?
Hit: Trina Turk
This Pucci-bright cover-up could easily go from pool lounge to hotel lounge.
Miss: Poko Pano
Wait, is that a flower ... over her flower?! Surely designers wouldn't be so literal, so frank, so suggestive! Right?
Hit: Red Carter
Add a hat made of tin foil and stuffed dachshund knee-pads or something and it's what Lady Gaga might wear to the beach.
Miss: AZ Araujo
No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
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