Christian Louboutin took a break from a stroll on his property with New Yorker writer Lauren Collins to pee under a "rare palm tree." He has a habit of doing just what he feels like doing — he missed school 64 times one semester as a youth, but his mom just wrote him whatever excuse he told her to write. He likes taxidermied things and keeps a boar in his house in Champgillon and a cougar in his Paris apartment, which he calls "Sweet Demi." One thing he doesn't like — and this is surely an astute business move — is changing the color of his red soles, even at the request of charitable organizations, though he will customize his shoes for private clients:

The one thing Louboutin does not tweak is the color of the sole, even though charities are always hounding him to do a pink one for National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or a green one for Earth Day. Shawna Rose told me, “I don’t even torture him with it anymore.”

Louboutin also wants his shoes to be worn by customers who eat real food.

With several swoops of his pen, he had managed to make Blahnik’s princessy slingbacks look as if they were meant for ladies who spend their days eating charity lunches of chicken salad and melon balls. The Louboutin woman might order a rare hamburger. “I’ll do shoes for the lady who lunches, but it would be, like, a really nasty lunch, talking about men,” Louboutin said. “But where I draw the line, what I absolutely won’t do, is the lady who plays bridge in the afternoon!"

Well, that's not quite where he draws the line: He also doesn't give a foot about comfort and doesn't want to see your clogs.

“I hate the whole concept of the clog!” Louboutin said. “It’s fake, it’s ugly, and it’s not even comfortable!” He continued, “And I hate the whole concept of comfort! It’s like when people say, ‘Well, we’re not really in love, but we’re in a comfortable relationship.’ You’re abandoning a lot of ideas when you are too into comfort. ‘Comfy’—that’s one of the worst words! I just picture a woman feeling bad, with a big bottle of alcohol, really puffy. It’s really depressing, but she likes her life because she has comfortable clogs."

Oh, but his hates continue!

“One thing I detest, I have to say, is when a shoe is too soft, and it’s molding to the foot,” Louboutin said. “This is quite disgusting. And I really, really hate incredibly long shoes, where the last is very pointy, almost like Aladdin.”

Really, Louboutin designs for men, he says, because women want shoes that men think make them look hot. But he's willing to make things for single women, too.

Louboutin recalled, “One man said to me, ‘I have never looked at shoes before,’ and it was a huge compliment.” He went on, “I would hate to be in a position of a person that does things that repulse the guy.” At this, I mentioned a fur boot that Louboutin made, with a cleft for each toe, so that the foot looked like a lion’s paw. I doubted that many men would find it as amusing as I did. Louboutin looked apologetic. “Yes,” he said. “That is for a woman who is alone.”

Also: Rich.

Sole Mate [NYer]