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‘Expertise’ on the State of Kate Middleton’s Figure Reaches Absurd Heights

Somewhere between her engagement to Prince William and the present, Kate Middleton went from Waity Katie to Weighty Katie. Not that she's weighty by any means — but that's precisely the problem reporters now have with her. Stories about the royal wedding shifted from dress talk to weight talk in January; perhaps news outlets realized that we'll have no clue what the dress is like until the wedding happens. Ever since Kate was overheard telling a fan in Belfast who warned her not to lose any more weight that "it's all part of the wedding plan," out flooded the "SHE'S DIETING!" stories. Often reporters find supposed experts — authors, other reporters, and nutritionists with no real connection to Kate — to chime in on her weight. Below, a roundup of "expert" input on the contrived story of Kate Middleton's possibly slightly slimmer figure.

The Initial "Danger" of Weight Loss Surfaces
• In January the Daily Mail wrote that Kate was "in danger of losing her curves completely." The paper cited reports in Now magazine that Kate was trying to gain a dress size to fill out her "womanly" wedding gown. "She's worried that she'll lose her curves completely, so she's introducing a lot more carbs into her diet," a source said. "We're not talking huge bowls of spaghetti, but certainly wholemeal toast, oatcakes, porridge and cereals." [Daily Mail UK]

An "Undercurrent" of Royal Weight Loss Suggests Kate Will Fall Victim
• Yahoo reported — also in January — that Kate was trying to lose weight. Writer Sylvia Cochran was her own expert, having detected "an undercurrent of weight loss among the female members of the British royal family." [Yahoo]

Her Face Is "Very Healthy"
• CBS Royal News contributor Victoria Arbiter, reporting outside Buckingham Palace recently on the princess-in-waiting's figure, said, "(A) remark she made ... has been misconstrued. A member of the crowd on the walkabout said to her, 'Don't lose any more weight,' and she just casually laughed and said, 'Oh, it's all part of the wedding plan.' Well, of course, everyone now thinks, does that smack of an eating disorder and worries that builds up to the wedding? Most brides like to look their best on the day — especially when the whole world is watching. So perhaps she's lost a little weight. But she looks very healthy in her face." [CBS]

William Would Never Drive Her to Bulimia Like His Father Supposedly Did Diana
• Christopher Andersen, author of William and Kate: A Love Story and The Day Diana Died told the Daily News, "Kate looks no thinner to me at all. She's always been a health and exercise fanatic, but not in an unhealthy way." Diana became bulimic supposedly after Prince Charles called her "chubby," the paper notes. "Kate is not chubby at all, but if she was, William would never hurt her feelings in that manner," Andersen said. "Charles could be thoughtless, even cruel, in a way William never could." [NYDN]

The Man Who Sells Her Snacks Says She Buys Fatty Foods
• Hash Shingadia runs the shop Peaches Spar in Kate's hometown of Bucklebury, Berkshire, where she buys her favorite sweets, Haribos, which, the Daily Mail tells us are "906 calories per 275g bag." Shingadia offers, "She came in with her mother and bought some Haribos. She also bought French bread, ham, salami, cream and eggs and her favourite magazines, Hello!, Tatler and Elle. She’s a normal girl." [Daily Mail UK]

She Has No More "Puppy Fat"
Us Weekly spoke to Princess Diana's "close pal" Simone Simmons. Simmons said Kate has gone from "a university student into a woman." She adds, "I call it that she lost her puppy fat!" The magazine also reports that Kate "works out regularly at the Clarence House gym." [Us]

She's on the Faddy Dukan Diet
• ABC News reported that Kate is getting "wedding-ready" with the Dukan Diet. Writer Ashley Peskoe wonders, "How much more [weight] does this reported 5-foot-10-inch, 120-pound princess-to-be need to lose?" She did not consult an expert to answer that question. [ABC News]

But She's Not "in the Danger Zone"
• The AP also reported Middleton is on the Dukan Diet and spoke to nutritionist Amanda Hamilton: "She's already slim enough so I would have concerns over that. Anyone would look at her picture and ask why does she have to lose weight. She looks fantastic. She's on the very slim end of what would be considered healthy. She's not in the danger zone, I don't think ... but she doesn't have any weight to lose." [AP]

Brides Can't Help Losing Weight
• The AP also found an expert on the topic of Kate's weight in an obviously Über-qualified weight commenter, the "top London wedding planner" Mark Niemierko, who said he doesn't think she's dangerously skinny. "Even those brides who don't plan to lose weight lose weight," he said. "This is the one day they will be the absolute center of attention, and these are pictures they'll have forever, so they want to be in good form. The same is true for the groom." [AP]

Photo: Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Cut® are registered trademarks of New York Media LLC.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC.
All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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