This week's most uncomfortably brilliant moments on Top Model were not the Ford commercials between segments starring Nigel Barker with hair — which says a lot about the drama quotient in last night's episode.

The girls' challenge may as well have been another Ford commercial since they had to pose for Nigel in ads for the car company’s Warriors in Pink campaign. Hannah waved a ribbon, Mikaela jabbed a spear around halfheartedly, and Alexandria posed as a tree by literally standing on a mound of soil she’d carried onto the set. Nigel liked this, so Alexandria won big prizes, including a shiny new car.

Brittani just couldn’t contain herself, venting loudly with the other girls about Alexandria’s every discernible flaw and then some. A shouting match inevitably ensued while Alexandria ... acted sane.

In the guise of a day off, Miss Jay led a field trip through the Universal Studios’ back lots. The girls stopped their tour at the Psycho set, where Jay Manuel jumped out of the Bates Motel dressed as an old lady and stabbed Miss Jay three times in the chest. You see, the theme of this week’s photo shoot was of someone similarly crazy … but about fashion, styled by Gossip Girl’s Eric Daman. Hooray for CW cross-promotion. Kasia played a deranged socialite crazy about hair, while the crazy-about-makeup Jaclyn smeared her lipstick Joker-style, which later won her top photo.

But poor Jaclyn's win was overshadowed since the panel ended up really being about something else entirely: Tattletale Nigel brought up the blowout fight at the challenge, which he and the panel deemed unprofessional behavior. Brittani, who’d started to explain herself quite well, just lost it, crying, flailing, hyperventilating, and eventually storming off set to crouch fetal-style in a corner of some depressing backstage holding room. She returned (mid-panic attack) to continued remonstrations from Nigel, ALT, and a visibly pissed Tyra.

While the panel deliberated, Brittani storm off again while the girls hashed stuff out with Alexandria backstage. After eliminating Mikaela (who'd been in the bottom two with Brittani and cut from the competition after Tyra got outvoted by her fellow judges), Tyra wasn't going to miss the opportunity to give another dramatic lecture and ended the episode letting Brittani know she’s pretty much dead in the water. ALT was sadly overshadowed by all this girly nonsense, but hopefully next week he can go back to stealing the limelight, and Nigel Barker can go back to being bald, which feels more comfortable for everyone watching. Enjoy highlights of ALT and more from last night's episode in the video.