March is the September of spring, the month when magazines fully introduce the new season in extra-fat issues with extra-fat fashion spreads. Standouts this month include W, which offered a new take on color-blocking — something that's not easy now that it feels like every magazine has done at least two stories on the trend. Model Arizona Muse also nailed it, as she tends to, dripping wet in Dazed & Confused and dancing with one of our other favorite girls, Freja Beha, in Numéro. March's French Vogue marked Carine Roitfeld's last issue as editor-in-chief — and judging by her fashion spreads she did not go quietly. Vogue published the latest all-black-model feature and failed to make the concept feel any less out of touch. Harper's Bazaar made an equally puzzling statement on China, involving a person in a panda suit and parasols. Sexy shirtless men were also accounted for in Elle (Rafael Nadal) and InStyle (Ryan Phillippe). Enjoy those shots and more in the slideshow.
Best Editorial — W
Color-blocking editorials dominated again this month, but W's take was darker, softer, and more unique than all the others.
Best Use of Painted-On Eyes — French Vogue
This is from Carine Roitfeld's last issue of French Vogue. There's so much going on with the face paint and extra hands you hardly notice the bare boobs.
Best Model — Arizona Muse in Dazed & Confused
Not all models have the foresight to lick their hair when it's wet and piece-y.
Best Model Couple — Arizona Muse and Freja Beha in Numéro
We hear they're friendly — and the chemistry shows.
Most Puzzling Homage to Asia — Harper's Bazaar
Elderly Asian man + parasol + panda = GO ASIA!
Most Puzzling All-Black Editorial — Vogue
Every month another fashion magazine does an all-black feature, and every month it continues to feel awkward and oblivious, especially since the girls are so commonly dressed in tribal prints. Vogue made them do a little dance, too.
Also Puzzlingly Exploitative — British Vogue
White girl with the Africans. Yay for fashion! (What?)
Best Designer Portrait — Karl Lagerfeld in Harper's Bazaar
Wherever Karl goes he always has two women groping each other nearby.
Best Sad Housewife Spread — Vogue
Moms don't look this good if they pay more attention to their children than their clothes and yoga classes. (Also, what is up with the iguana thing on the leash in the bottom left corner?)
Most Pallid-Looking Model — Elle
What was the stage direction on this? "No, look more vacant! And thirsty! You don't look vacant and thirsty enough!"
Best Beach Outfit — French Vogue
It's like something you'd see in a heat mirage. Or if you're on mushrooms.
Worst Beach Outfit — Flare
Well, compared to that last one.
Best Shirtless Athlete — Rafael Nadal in Elle
Beats that time he was in Vogue wearing one of the least sexy things a man can wear: an all-white suit.
Best Shirtless Divorcé — Ryan Phillippe in InStyle
Did he do this shoot the same month his ex Reese Witherspoon got married on purpose? "She might be remarried, but look at how buff I am!"
Best Little Lambs — Vogue
They're so cute, it's hard to mind that they're not cats.
Best Monkey — John Varvatos
This could also go plural — best monkeys.
Most Confusing Tagline — French Connection
What, ladies aren't allowed to sit on curbs and eat burgers? If you're not eating celery you must be a man? We don't get it.
Best Lady Gaga Ad — Flare
Ah, it feels like 2008 all over again.
Best Use of These Roberto Cavalli Pants — Harper's Bazaar
Looking at Carola Remer in these bottoms, you barely notice how gaudy they are.
Worst Use of These Roberto Cavalli Pants — Marie Claire
And then you open your Marie Claire.
Most Accurate 'It Girl' Outfit — Cosmopolitan
Cosmo did a spread of "It girl" style. And this outfit nails it, let's be honest.
Best Prom Suggestions — Teen Vogue
If you take away everything on their heads, this page does offer a refreshingly modern approach to prom.
Best Designer Couple — Prabal Gurung and Diane Von Furstenberg in Harper's Bazaar
This is a reenactment of The Graduate. Also: secret CFDA meetings! And you wondered what they did in those.
Best Sucker Punch — W
"Ungh my face is too pretty."
Worst Editorial — Italian Vogue
That is some sad, confused Prada.
Most in Need of a Pillow — Sigrid Agren in Numéro
Those poor ribs amid all that hard rock. Terrible.
Best Table Decoration — Sandra Lee's Silver Tiger in Vogue
So this is where Andrew Cuomo lives: in a girly all-white place with a metal tiger statue.
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