St. Andrews University, where Prince William and Kate Middleton met and went to school, was home to a raunchy elite sex club founded in 1732, to which an ancestor of William's belonged. The St. Andrews museum possesses "rare historical artifacts" used by the club, which can be viewed by approved scholars. They include:
...drinking glasses in the shape of giant phalluses. Lewd platters are engraved with surreal pornographic images, including erections shaped as lighthouses and roosters with human penis heads. One prize exhibit is a snuff box filled with female pubic hair that was plucked by one of William's most debauched and lecherous royal relatives, King George IV, the prince's fourth great-granduncle, who ruled from 1820 to 1830.
The activities of the club, which met monthly, were stranger:
Early in the evening, naked village girls, known as posture molls, posed on tables in acrobatic positions to reveal "the Secrets of Nature." Pornographic texts were read. They would then make toasts from the lewd drinking vessels, known as prick glasses, citing "Firm erection, fine insertion, excellent distillation, no contamination." The club president would then open up the wooden box, revealing a motley wig that, according to club tradition, had been woven from the pubic hairs of King Charles II's many mistresses. Members would take turns wearing it, evidently using the talisman to enhance their sexual potency. Finally, the boozed-up and merry members would gather around a table. There they would masturbate onto the club's fine pewter plate, known as the Test Platter.
Good job, Slate! Below, some non-sexual royal wedding news highlights.
• The blue suit Kate Middleton wore yesterday for her public appearance in England is a past-season look by Amanda Wakeley. Kate had never worn the outfit publicly before yesterday, and Wakeley has "no idea" why it was chosen, but was obviously "delighted" by its appearance. [Grazia]
• Cathy Horyn perused British Vogue's new wedding-themed issue, and noticed no Alexander McQueen dresses were featured. She believes this raises "speculation that maybe Sarah Burton, the creative director of McQueen, is making Ms. Middleton’s dress after all." She adds that a McQueen wedding dress "would make sense. The house makes beautiful clothes, it has the workroom and staff to deal with a high-profile wedding, and the label is contemporary." However there's that nagging problem of Kate not exhibiting fashion sense anywhere near as forward or cool as the McQueen label. [On the Runway/NYT]
• Though it's been reported that Kate's team consulted fashion people about her wedding dress before choosing a designer, the Daily Mail says that Kate made her choice without the help of a stylist, which is how she always dresses herself (could you tell?). However for her first official visit overseas to Canada after the wedding, she supposedly asked deputy British Vogue editor Emily Sheffield to pick out her clothes — 30 outfits for nine days (obviously in case she spills on herself constantly). However this article is kind of all over the place since it also says Prince William's secretary has created a list of potential stylists who could help Kate dress when she has to go around being official and whatnot. [Daily Mail UK]
• Blogger Meredith Fineman feels bad for Prince William's exes who will reportedly attend the wedding. Her argument: "I mostly just feel bad for this quartet because they could've been a PRINCESS. So they're all going to be sitting together, fanning themselves, recounting the days when they thought they'd become a royal. That majorly sucks." No it doesn't — they get to go. Getting up at 4:45 in the morning to watch it on BBC America "sucks." Also, who really wants to trade places with Kate Middleton? [HuffPo]