With spring weather finally kicking in, the fashion magazines are fixating on bras. All kinds of bras — leather, sculpted metal, growing flowers — worn in all kinds of ways (over tops, under see-through tops, as tops), as you'll see in this batch of editorials. They're also fixating on giant jewelry made from materials like clear and colored plastic, brightly colored fuzz, or wooden rods. April's standout human models include Lindsey Wixson and Lara Stone, while this month's standout animal models include cats, a bird, and a snake. Enjoy images of those creatures and more from this month's issues in the slideshow.
Best Model — Lara Stone in W
Would you be able to look so convincingly sad wearing so many yards of Chanel Couture?
Best Victoria's Secret Model Shots — 10
That's Alessandra Ambrosio looking like she's sitting on a toilet, and Adriana Lima with the abs that may or may be not made of the same stuff as regular humans.
Best Lindsey Wixson Editorial — British
British Vogue did a lot with model -of-the-moment Lindsey Wixson in the April issue. This editorial shows her at her best, which is very Lolita-trapped-in-a-rich-man's-pool — complete with the fuzzy turquoise earrings she's been coveting on her Barbie for months.
Most Puzzling Lindsey Wixson Editorial — British Vogue
The hair, makeup, hat, parrot, and white-and-navy stripes don't quite enhance her beauty. On the other hand, if the intent was to make her look like a crazed housewife trapped in a concrete pit, this is winning.
Best Use of Melted Tupperware — French Vogue
If she looks upset it's because she can't find her matching jelly shoes.
Best Baggage — Italian Vogue
It's like one of those 3,203 reality shows about hoarding something or other, but with models!
Best Nipple-Emphasizing Bra — Numéro
And so kicks of this month's small slew of bra slides. First up: gladiator boobs!
Most Tired Bra Trend — 10
The underwear-as-outerwear ship has sailed — is there any reason to bring it back when everyone was hoping for it to turn right back around as soon as it docked?
Most Camouflaged Over-Bra - Elle
Time to play our favorite new game: spot the over-bra! It's like Where's Waldo for boobs.
Bra With the Best Caption — i-D
Out of respect for the magazine's genius words, we will not comment further.
Most in Need of a Bra — German Vogue
Why, how could they go without one when there were so many spectacular options to choose from this month? And so concludes this month's short series on bras.
Worst Makeout Partner — Numéro
That dark lipstick will just get EVERYWHERE.
Best Beauty Shot — W
Mustard lips never looked so good.
Creepiest Hair Editorial — Flaunt
Holy crap — is this the infamous Internet Peter Pan guy?!
Best Example of Why Models Should Make More Money — Dazed & Confused
What are they told when they get there? "The bad news is you'll have to wear loads of uncomfortable metal pieces that might break the skin and will certainly prevent you from sitting, eating, or drinking, probably for hours. But the good news is, you are supposed to look unhappy about it."
Best Designer Portrait — Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana in British Vogue
"Baby, you're a FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIREWOOORK!"
Best Reason Not to Go to the Hamptons — 10
You know this is the backyard reality in, like, one out of every four immaculately creepy houses out there.
Best Supporting Male — Michael Fassbender in W
He has balls to do the one-shoulder tank and the white high-waisted pants — separately — in one shoot.
Creepiest Pajama Party — Bullet
Who is the gray person on the far left? Is that supposed to be cute?
Saddest BBQ — 10
It's mostly sad because she's alone (and evidently missing pieces of her outfit). If she had her model friends over, the wimpy grill would still be fine — she could just pretend it's not there more joyously.
Cutest Kitties — Elle
This is why some people have more than one cat. So cute.
Best Day Dress — Paper
She looks like a flying squirrel.
Worst Styling — Nylon
Crop top, bra showing, mid-calf skirt, socks with sandals — what other looks-good-on-practically-no one trend did they miss?
Best Use of Symmetry — Fashion
Great way to make a scary pair of pants look even scarier.
Best Jellyfish Dress — Dazed & Confused
It's Valentino couture, so you know what they say about the price: It stings.
Worst Editorial — Bullet
You know something's seriously off in your photos when you make Alek Wek, of all people, look like a crazy person who's been hiding out at Disneyland to avoid being committed to the loony bin. You know, in a bad way.
Best Props — Italian Vogue
Looks like it's time to make the salad!
Worst Hood — German Vogue
She looks like an executioner.
Ballsiest Ad — Vivienne Westwood
This is definitely the best ad since Marc Jacobs wrapped his greased-up thighs around his Bang cologne. Except here, Vivienne demonstrates that sometimes you don't have to actually let it all hang out to let it all hang out.
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