Henry Alford Wore ‘Very Exciting Underpants,’ Wound Up With a Court Summons

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“'Jude, Jude, Jude,' I thought, 'Where have you taken me?'” Photo: Mertino/Splash News

Every summer, there's a deluge of articles about a man's quest for the perfect swim trunks (men in bathing suits! Har har!), and today's Times has one by Henry Alford that, at first glance, is no exception. It commences with a predictable ideal: a picture of Jude Law on the beach in Cannes.

I downloaded the image, and hied myself to Bergdorf Goodman on Fifth Avenue, where I showed it to a smiley salesman in his 20s named Beau. I told Beau, “I want to be mistaken for Jude Law.” I explained, “My looks are kind of preppy and innocent, so I need a suit that will take me to ‘wayward English schoolboy’ rather than ‘toffee-nosed prat.’”

Does This Swimsuit Make Me Look Fat? [NYT]