Someday, possibly not too far in the future, Fashion Week is going to start handing out complimentary branded flak jackets and helmets to its celebrity attendees. In the middle of interviewing Rose McGowan at Monique Lhuillier's show on Saturday night, we asked her about going to pick a front row dress. "It's even better than that," she told us. "They send them to you, so you don't have to go anywhere JESUS CHRIST ON A CRUTCH." We were startled was our question that dumb? until we realized McGowan was speaking out in self-defense, since a passing gaggle of photographers had just roughly knocked her into another row of seats. After politely tapping one of them on the back, she brushed off her gorgeous pink cocktail dress and then smiled. "It's the plastic on the runway, really," she explained. "I don't need to go down tonight."
Eventually, after another round of vigorous shoves, we encouraged McGowan to head for her seat so as not to get trampled but not before asking her how she handles the pressure of getting all togged up for this kind of spotlight."You're basically just going out to be judged. It's one big judgment party," she said. "Prey on the weak. The Internet is basically Lord of the Flies." Really? For us it's more like Lord of the Rings, but it's possible we're the only people cuddling photos of Jon Hamm and whispering about the Precious, so actually, never mind.
The reason for all that shoving? The arrival of LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian. No, really. He is basically famous for allegedly cheating on his old wife with his current one on the set of a Lifetime movie, and the two of them practically caused a Bieber-size ruckus. It says something that the two biggest press crushes we've seen so far this Fashion Week have revolved around them and Lindsay Lohan, and that something is, "Maybe we're all reading too much Us Weekly." Cibrian was doing his Playboy Club poor-man's-Don-Draper look, and she seemed to be thinking about what she wanted to tweet next. We hope it was, "Dear Rose McGowan, sorry we almost got you killed. Love your dress."
Courtside at the Cibrian-Rimes show was Mandy Moore, basically their polar opposite in the category of Exploiting One's Marriage For Press she left hubby Ryan Adams at home. Mandy looked very slim, very tall, and very brunette. Asked about her past as a blonde pop tart, we overheard her say, "I don't like myself as a blonde. I look at pictures of myself [from then] and think, 'What was I thinking?'" If it makes you feel better, Mandy, we thought you were pretty then, too.
With any luck, Footloose's Julianne Hough seated right next to Mandy, and sporting bright red lipstick to match her dress feels differently about herself as a blonde, because her locks were shinier and more golden than ever. Nearby we saw Joanna Garcia Swisher flying under the rader, and Jamie-Lynn Sigler sporting some new (to us, at least) thick bangs, rendering her almost as unrecognizable as her prim senior-citizen-librarian outfit. Rounding out the collection was a woman we thought, with a thrill, was Melissa Gilbert. When we asked if it was, in fact, our beloved Half-Pint, the PR Girl to whom we spoke made a face. "No, that's [NAME]," she said. And, no, that's not a typo. We can't remember that person's name, because it is not one we have ever heard before. Shoot, maybe we're not reading enough Us Weekly after all.