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The Fug Girls: Kelly Osbourne’s Great Mother-in-Law Outfit

Kelly Osbourne.

After Lindsay Lohan stole the show at Cynthia Rowley on Friday, the drama queen hamster who runs on our mental wheels started working overtime, imagining the scene if Lilo stormed the fortress at Charlotte Ronson — where Lohan's ex, the designer's twin Samantha, always DJs. We desperately wanted her to swan in wearing a cape and pulling her new pirate friend in a tiny red wagon flying the Jolly Roger, but by the time the lights went down, the only platinum-haired celeb in the front row was Kelly Osbourne, who is markedly less bronzed and way less adjacent to rogue seafarers. Kelly, in fact, looked great in a simple grey dress, a jazzy black beaded necklace/dress detail, and sparkly shoes. She also had on little white gloves, as if in costume as someone's finicky mother-in-law prone to running a finger across flat surfaces to check for dust. We kind of wish she'd done that, actually.

There was much seat-shuffling in the front row — nobody could quite decide which celebs should go where. Former Top Model winner Eva "Pigford" Marcille (we can never remember what last name she's using at any given moment) sauntered in wearing a belly shirt with those animal-print jeggings that are so inexplicably hot right now, and ended up in a random section. SNL's Abby Elliott and castmate Nasim Pedrad may have been wise to stay as close to the end of their row as possible, because it got increasingly confusing: First, Angela Simmons was next to Kelly on their other side. Then, they moved down a few seats, and Margherita Missoni (in a typically colorful turtleneck) and Joy Bryant took the end spots, the two of them huddling together as if trying to shield themselves from the crush of photogs following a plaid-coat-clad Nicky Hilton into the venue. And then Whitney Port appeared to swap seats with model Jessica Hart, leapfrogging Teen Wolf's Holland Roden in the process, so that Port ended up on Hilton's other side. It was like musical chairs, except without the promise of recess and a snack.

Roden, a newcomer to both TV and Fashion Week, seemed to be enjoying the hullaballoo, telling us that she got chills earlier at her first-ever show (Vivienne Tam) and then was treated to her inaugural fan mobbing in the tents foyer. Well, almost inaugural: "Everything in my life is still totally normal except airports, which are kind of insane for me now," she marveled cheerfully. "I'm one of those people that always dresses up for airports, I always have — full makeup and hair. But the one time I wasn't was coming back from Comic-Con this year and it was like 5 a.m. and people noticed us, and it was like, what? It wasn't quite like this, but it was still surreal." She seemed to be handling the pressure with the requisite sense of humor ("I can't say I'm dressed for comfort. Comfort and food are pretty much out the window this week.") and practicality. "I have flats in here," she said, pulling some charmingly orthopedic-looking brogues out of her brown purse. "But I booked my flight like two and a half hours ahead of time, so I left all my Charlotte Ronson shirts and clutches and stuff in a bag at home!" Honey, you're in the front row now. Just pop backstage and see if you can snag some freebies.

See the complete Charlotte Ronson collection.

Photo: Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Cut® are registered trademarks of New York Media LLC.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC.
All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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