Sometimes fashion is a theoretical pain, and sometimes fashion is the actual pain of getting your face gouged out by somebody’s shoulder horns. And never are we happier to put ourselves in horns’ way than at The Blonds, where the people-watching before the show can be just as satisfying as the intricate creations coming down the runway. For instance, we saw Johnny Weir — in gold, studded slippers and shorts — posing for pictures with Bam Margera and Porcelain Black’s boobs (and also her face, but who was looking at that?); Jay Manuel, wearing kneesocks that looked like they were made of pinstripe-pants fragments, sitting next to J. Alexander and cracking up the runway diva extraordinaire; and of course, a man wearing a hat made of a rifle with a baby-doll head attached to the muzzle, and another dude sporting bedazzled torso antlers that almost beheaded us. All that was missing was Amanda Lepore wearing a teddy. No, wait, hang on, that happened too.
But our favorite sighting was the Vampire Diaries’ Kat Graham, who frequently wears The Blonds on the red carpet, even — nay, especially — if the ensemble in question involves spikes and fringe. “This is what it’s all about: all these amazing and fearless New York motherfuckers,” she exclaimed after hugging Shoulder Horns and living to tell the tale. “If there weren’t people like this in the world, you’d feel like you had to blend in, like it wasn’t okay to be yourself. So this is amazing.” Kat herself stood out thanks to a black dress covered in elaborate gold detailing, and a hairdo of stacked orbs that rose skyward like an enormous keratin candlestick. “It’s Styrofoam! From Michael’s!” she said. “Touch it!” We did. We may have squealed, and touched it again. We couldn’t resist; it was the first time we’d personally encountered that much cranial architecture, and unlike all those fancy Royal Wedding fascinators, this was homemade: Graham said she built it herself over the course of a couple hours and then just plopped it atop her head and went out. “Do you know how hard it is to sit in a cab with this hair?” she laughed. “I was hanging halfway out the window, like, ‘Are we there yet?’” As far as we're concerned, it's safe to say that she's arrived.