You won't get to watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show on TV until November 29, but the show taped last night in front of 1,100 celebrities, reporters, select friends of CBS, and guests of the models in the show. Mostly, however, the crowd consisted of men in suits, which is an odd atmosphere for anyone who's gone to a number of regular fashion shows, because those conspicuously lack a straight-male contingent. Backstage earlier in the day, Victoria's Secret president Ed Razek told a reporter that the audience includes "a lot of people in the financial sector," and according to The Wall Street Journal's Elizabeth Holmes, parent company Limited Brands gives tickets to analysts who cover Victoria's Secret, probably to encourage them to rate the stock favorably. As Razek said last night, the $13 million spent on the show is "an investment." Certainly, no matter how you feel about how the show objectifies the models, what happens on the runway is a glittery, celebrity-filled spectacle that's hard to ignore. See highlights in the slideshow.
To fully appreciate what happened in the show, you have to appreciate who the performers were doing it for.
Nicki Minaj and Erin Heatherton
Nicki looks confused because, for once, the person standing next to her has more stuffed animals attached to their clothing than she does.
Kanye West and Izabel Goulart
Izabel’s very large wings appear to have been cut from kites, or possibly, windsurfing sails.
Kanye West and Jay-Z
Despite Kanye’s sleeves and all those pretty faces on the runway, the most exciting part of the show involved no models at all. After Kanye performed “Stronger” with models in his midst, Jay-Z joined him on stage for a surprise duet. Beyoncé, clad in a white caftan, appeared in the front row just for this song, and sang along as she watched, only to disappear when it was all over and the models were allowed back on stage.
Adam Levine and Anne V.
Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine got to walk his girlfriend, model Anne V., down the runway. He was careful not to interact with any of the other models on stage, as he was saving up all that lady-ogling for this photo op. She looks so happy because her lingerie is working. Yaaaayyyy!!!!
Proving that the models onstage weren’t the only ones with hips that begged for a camera, or had cleavage on display.
Kanye West and Adriana Lima
It’s only fair to show what the models get to wear when they have a choice about it. Here you see what Adriana’s abs look like after that famously intense dieting, and what her back looks like when it doesn’t have a children’s play-tent over it.
Nicki Minaj and Behati Prinsloo
Behati’s wings lit up like a neon sign. Because nothing about the outfit, or Nicki standing next to her, is attention-getting enough, otherwise.
Maroon 5 and Miranda Kerr
Oh look! It’s the $2.5 million bra! Worn in a cage.
Kanye West and Karlie Kloss
This was 19-year-old Karlie’s first Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Obviously a pro, when Kanye started to walk her down the runway, she was like, “Um, NO.”
Kanye West and Anja Rubik
Backstage, Kanye went out of his way to hang out with Anja in hair and makeup. (As soon as he did, everyone back there took a break from asking the more mainstream famous “angels” about their diets and started paying attention to her.) So naturally she was the one girl who got the full escort by him to the end of the runway.
Alexander Wang, Carine Roitfeld, and Julia Restoin-Roitfeld
Well, someone had to wear enough black to balance out the nakedness and glitter.
Leave it to the fashion people to give everyone's eyes a break.
Todd Thomas and Debbie Harry
Why was Debbie Harry there? Well, why were lots of other things there?
All of Occupy Wall Street could fit under that purple thing.
Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima
You know what's in their future? Cupcakes! And other carbs they've been avoiding!
The breasts have eyes. The after-party dress has sleeves and, most importantly, no battery pack.
You would think that Michael and Nina — oh wait! Wrong show.
On the subject of Project Runway, these wings could very well qualify for one of those unorthodox materials challenges, where the designers have to work with serving platters instead of fabric.
Those gold-and-crystal wings (or, really, that metal doily) on her back are like the 1 percent of wings. The other 99 percent come with significantly less wealth.
Her wings, if you can call them that, are made of two umbrellas. Mary Poppins goes raunch!
Holy heavens — she's wearing a shift dress! Kind of!
Because Miss America really shouldn't get to have the fun, Constance got to wear her glitter gown with Poseidon's crown.
Are we noticing a trend in the after-party clothes? Longish, black, sleeves here and there? Wonder why.
It's hitting her: She's walking on a pile of glitter in front of millions of people with a disco ball strapped to her ass and affixed to her neck like a growth. You really do have to laugh.
Medieval lingerie overload.
At least she can go straight from this to tubing down the river.
And here's the Victoria's Secret president (shot a couple years ago) with a handful of Victoria's Secret models. Bravo, Ed.
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