The Grammys are the best award show of the year because no one is boring. Even people who seem predictable — like Rihanna and Katy Perry — wore some surprisingly simple things. And even Nicki Minaj's arrivals outfit was just one color! Meanwhile, the people you haven't heard of (and, well, Fergie) were busy wearing the loudest things they could get their hands on. Review some of the night's most notable looks in the slideshow.
Something about this costume felt less super hero than super market cold case cheddar cheese wrapping. But her body looks hot in it anyway.
Before she stripped to her srhink-wrapping she wore this green get-up with the underpants on the outside, so that she looked the way a talking plant probably would in a Pixar movie. But blue hair aside, the gold thing she wore to watch the show was elegant and great on her -- probably what Taylor Swift wished she had worn.
Even when she doesn't have fireworks shooting out of her breasts, she manages to draw eyes to them over her Skittles-colored hair. It's probably the effect of the corseted waist, i.e. breast shelf.
She has a deal with Armani to model and make tee shirts for the label so she had to wear something by it on the red carpet. This Armani dress and the simple gold jewelry was fantastic -- one of the best red-carpet looks of the night -- but if she wanted to beach-y blond hair, why did she try to match her roots to her dress?
This is her performance look, before and after she ripped off her over-shirt. Considering how briefly she wore that distressed white denim top (again: distressed white denim top) and how sexy her red-carpet dress was, did she need to go through the charade of disrobing on stage? It was like watching a Jim Carrey movie in which he plays a divorced dad who still talks to his ex-wife -- you know from the moment it starts they're going to get back together so why bother going through the motions?
Yep. She still looks uncomfortable.
She won multiple awards without looking uncomfortable, weird, or even particularly remarkable aside from how pretty she is, of course. And! She didn't even bother with cleavage -- proof that female singers don't have to look insane or dress like a walking gimmick or be overtly sexy to succeed if you have talent. Lady Gaga and Nicki Minaj, who have worn raw meat and ass speakers, respectively, didn't even win any awards.
Taylor Swift and Gwyneth Paltrow
Taylor Swift said something to Ryan Seacrest on E! before the ceremony about how this Zuhair Murad dress is one of her favorite dresses ever, or something. But even all that busy-ness and all those bangs have a hard time competing with old reliable -- Gwyneth Paltrow's bare sides.
Diana Tsui says everyone in her Facebook feed connected this look to Grapes of Wrath references -- "depression chic." But looking semi-poor nicely balanced out the J. Lo-ness of her Murad dress.
I had no idea who this person is until I watched this spectacular music video she made. So she's traded plasic bags and body stockings for a dress that looks some overpriced rock art. Yay!
Nicki couldn't make a flashy, weird entrance by arriving in a weird vehicle, since Gaga did that with her "egg" last year, so she made a flashy, weird entrance by arriving with an aging white dude dressed as a bishop/sperm. I hope it's a sperm, because the religious iconography, however relevant these days, has been done more times than George Clooney.
Though her performance was religiously themed, her look could be Grapes of Wrath-y too. Maybe she should have replaced the board she was strapped to with, like, an ox and wagon? Re-jigger her performance theme? Then she could go off and say, "Lady Gaga uses dead animals, I use live ones."
This is lovely and attention-grabbing, even though it's priest-free.
The one thing you can alwyas say about Kelly Rowland is that she never gets weird for the sake of it. How has she not gotten into acting yet? It's certainly our dream if it's not hers.
Talk about well-sleeved. I imagine Blue Ivy's bottle coozies look something like those cuffs.
Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz
And you thought the men's velvet suiting trend was silly, and not something people actually wear. He showed you.
Anne V and Adam Levine
Oh! It's like the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, where he was wearing clothes and she wasn't wearing clothes. Only, she might have had more on in that, hm.
The Beach Boys
Now that is how you rock a print. You people trying to get shot by the Fashion Week street style photographers, take note.
Time for someone to shave the ol' armpits.
The dress kind of looks like a big tampon but I love the whole look. Goth, conservative, yet sexy.
If your TV sucks like mine does, you might have thought this dress was red, but alas, it is in fact orange, one of the most under-utilized colors for most people. So, has Fergie inspired you to wear more of it?
I like this look for her. She's really earned it over time, you know?
She looks totally, unexpectedly fabulous. Gwyneth was probably dying to step on her train and trip her.
She seems to have toned down the makeup a little bit and really looks all the prettier for it as long as you ignore the dress, shoes, hair, jewelry...
This is him leaving -- he got embarrassed when he saw he and Rihanna showed up with the same hair.
Understated and gorgeous. Another example of letting her talent speak for her instead of her clothes.
All I can see those "accessories" on her right arm being good for is a headrest in case she got bored by like the seventeenth Foo Fighters performance and had to take a nap.
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