A Play in One Short Act: Sh-t Girls Say in the Fashion Week Bathroom

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The handy users guide to the toilets that is actually posted above each one in the bathroom stalls.

The Lincoln Center bathrooms — which accommodate twice as many women as men — do not come with your standard plumbing or spacious stalls. They are cramped, tend to smell, and are somewhere between nice Porta-Potties and the bathrooms in Port Authority. If you can tolerate the fluorescent lights and damp stench, you're likely to overhear a conversation like this one.

Girl 1: Oh my God, will you hold my bag so I don't have to bring it in the —
Girl 2: Ew, yes. [She slings the bag over her forearm and regards herself in the small mirror above the wet sink.] Oh my God, this bag looks so good on me!!!
Girl 1: Ugh this is so gross but my heel just got stuck in the toilet thing.
(Girl 2 doesn't seem to hear since she is busy looking at herself and her two handbags in the mirror)
Girl 1: At least these bathrooms are better than the old ones at Bryant Park ...
Girl 2: The MUSIC's better.
Girl 1: Where you had to go in the scary, like, individual things.
Girl 2: Scary.

End scene.