Traditionally the final month of wintry fashion spreads before March's spring editorial blowouts, February magazines managed (mostly) to strike a good balance between the sublime and the ridiculous. Vogue Paris shot Daria Werbowy romping about in Las Vegas in a 40-page-plus editorial, while Pop sculpted piles of frosting into gloppy humans, swans, and monkey shapes. Some of this month's models got giggly (see: Coco Rocha, and actor Joshua Bowman), some got sporty (Candice Swanepoel), and others just got a bit damp and fishy-looking (poor Emily Baker). And, oh yes, Vera Wang posed in her swimsuit — props to her. See these images and more in our slideshow roundup.
Best Audition for the Female Lead in Transformers 4: Paris Vogue
With the fourth Transformers movie ("Trans4mers," surely?) rumored to feature an all-new cast, Daria Werbowy lets Michael Bay know that she's all set to replace Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as his new leading ladymodel — she's friends with Bumblebee already. The ankle socks will have to go, though.
Most Anti-Climatic Desert Highway Footrace - Vogue Paris
If you keep holding hands, it's going to be a tie.
Worst Part of Lana Del Rey to Cover With a Photo-Bombing Canary - Interview Germany
Not the lips! Anything but the lips!
Most Perturbed Children - L'Officiel Paris
"But I thought you said there would be candy."
Most Perturbed by Children - Vogue Nippon
Tao Okamoto looks desperately for an escape route, but those smartly-dressed schoolchildren and their jaunty berets are just everywhere.
Obligatory Cute White Kitten - British Vogue
Cats this fluffy are allowed to shed haughtily — even over one's beaded Chanel.
Best Swimwear - Harper's Bazaar
In case you were wondering, Vera Wang is definitely ready for beach season. Not that she'd even really need to go to the beach, when she's got her own pool and some comfy-looking sun loungers.
Best Bieber - V
That would be Julius Bieber.
Most Puzzling Sports Attire - Harper's Bazaar
Candice's gaping strike zone is really the least of her problems here.
Best "Hair" - Vogue Nippon
Who would have thought it possble that vintage Versace (mixed with pieces from the label's H&M collaboration) would be the less colorful element of this shoot?
Worst "Hair" - Vogue
Less like a tousled beehive, more like an angry hornet's nest.
Best Disco Cowgirl - Vogue Paris
But really, every disco cowgirl is the best disco cowgirl. Some things you just can't get wrong, and sewing fairy lights to your denim work shirt is definitely one of them.
Best-Tasting Wrists - Wonderland
"Lick it now, lick it good, lick that inner forearm just like you should" — My Neck, My Back 2012 Remix by Nicki Minaj.
Worst Attempt at Fostering Sisterhood in the Workplace - Cosmopolitan
Screw those notions that women in the workplace should get along! When dealing with "the office bitch," just pee in her coffee mug and stick mean Post-It notes to the back of her designer jacket.
Most Wasted Cake - POP
On the plus side, just think, you won't get diabetes.
Most Illogical Editorial Progression - Vogue
Vogue titles this photo spread "Blossoming Career." That's because "Model Finds the Prospect of Flower Arranging So Terrifying She's Forced to Hide Under Her IKEA Table" didn't work with the page layout.
Most Chaste Fire Hydrant - V
Look at its eyes, so pure and unyielding. Why, it's managing not to ogle Rob Evan's abs or, for that matter, Melodie Monrose's fabulous neon prom dress.
Leeriest - GQ
Jean Dujardin, you are supposed to be dashing and chivalrous and making cute kissy faces. Why are you lurking so?
Most in Need of Some Instructions - 10 Men
Step-ladders, you're doing them wrong.
Best Punchline - Flare
Yes, those multiple tutus ARE hilarious!
Best Punchline Redux - GQ
And so is Revenge star Joshua Bowman's comic book.
Worst Memory - Vogue Mexico
A visual ode to grocery lists: isn't it awful when you've gotten all dressed up in your purple bow and chunky bracelets only to realize you can't remember if you're out of the black currant or the raspberry preserves?
Worst Workout - Nylon
Let's just hope this model has an up-to-date tetanus vaccine, because those dumbbells look rusty and most gyms have that "sneakers only" rule for a reason.
Most at Risk of Facial Lines - Marie Claire
Ack, be CAREFUL, Angela! Just because you've diversified your career doesn't mean you can start frowning. (One day you're in and fresh-faced, the next you're wrinkly and out, out, out.)
Best Homage to a Project Runway-esque Challenge - Allure
Why, this dress appears to be made from those rectangular paper doilies used to line brownie trays at bake sales. How inventive!
Angriest Model - Flaunt
Behind the camera, a harried make-up artist is explaining there's just no green facepaint left (guess why), and she's so sorry for the inconvenience.
Saddest Popsicle - Vogue Nippon
Magdalena seems more enthusiastic about her little plastic windmill, which makes no sense at all.
Most Seaweed - Dazed & Confused
Why bother buying clothes when you could just roll around on the floor of an aquarium?
Best Idea - British Vogue
It's Friday afternoon and, inspired by this editorial, it's time for a tall gin and tonic with a slice of lime.
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