April is a hard month to dress for — rain one day, dry the next, and temps rising and falling willy-nilly — and this past month's magazines reflect that confusion. Runaway bride Isabelli Fontana drifts around in a wedding dress on the beach in French Vogue, and InStyle leaves Allison Williams stranded on a mountain top with nothing but a ray gun to protect herself. Grimes does her best version of "The Falconer" in Dazed and Confused, and Josh Brolin makes out with a dog in WSJ. But there were bright spots: Glamour threw Jennifer Lawrence into a golden Cavalli dress, and Wonderland gave Dakota Fanning a wee white mouse. See these images and more in our slideshow roundup.
Best Human Piñata, Hype
Isn't it just awful when you walk into a party and realize someone is wearing the exact same streamer shrug as you?
Worst Potential Threesome, Glamour
We realize some models look like mannequins, but Ian Somerhalder is in for a rude awakening.
Worst Electric Shock Therapy Hair, Vogue Paris
Sometimes "go big or go home" doesn't always ring true.
Worst Willy Wonka Experiment Gone Wrong, Hype
This is what happens when you eat your jeans.
Best Human Doorknocker, Interview
Do you really want to know if anyone's home?
Best Sad Bride, Vogue Paris
Where is the cabana boy to refill my lemon water?
Most Bored Nurse, Dazed and Confused
She'd much rather be busy appearing in a Richard Prince painting, if you must know.
Best Spirit Animal, Wonderland
It normally lives in her hair.
Worst Ballet Nightmare, Vogue
The Sequel to Black Swan will be called Nude Hippos.
Worst Weight Loss Accessory, Glamour
You couldn't possibly fit a Blueprint juice and your Evian spray in that bag.
Best Pyschological Form of Birth Control, Elle
Nine pounds, thirteen ounces in the making.
Second Best Pyschological Form of Birth Control, GQ
Just imagine producing a child with a flavor saver.
Best Fascinator to Womb-Shirt Ratio, Elle
Lady Gaga's egg is jealous.
Model We're Most Worried For, Details
Speedo plus motorcyle is a recipe for chafing.
Outfit Most Likely to Be Worn Later by Kanye, Vaga
We'd quite like to see that.
Most Unfortunate Kiss, WSJ
There must be a better use for Josh Brolin's tongue.
Best Chance of Scaring the Competition, Wonderland
Second Best Chance of Scaring the Competition, Dazed and Confused
Never attack a woman with a coat made of ramen.
Best Falconer, Dazed and Confused
Look out, Dakota, Grimes's bird is coming for you.
Most Disaffected Rich Person, Vogue
Why does Karl insist on throwing scavenger hunts at the Ritz? Sighhhh.
Best Contemplation of Actual Work, Vaga
"I might pick up that tool, but on second thought, why did God make me so handsome?"
Best Simulated Merriment, Vogue
Who knew the Renny-Fair would be so much fun?
Best Reveal, Wonderland
Finally, the answer to what Cookie Monster looked like pre-cookies.
Worst Last-Minute Prop, InStyle
You can bring three things with you to a deserted island. So far, you've chosen a fancy sleeping bag bed, a toy gun ... what's your last item?
Best Shine, Vaga
You know you're doing something right when your skin glows more than your sequined football jersey.
Most Visionary, Dazed and Confused
The whole bunny ears trend is so over, but a third eye feels very fall 2012.
Worst Idea for a Neck Brace, Hype
Well, the model's got balls.
Most Rave Ready, Glamour
BYO disco ball.
Least Rave Ready, Dazed and Confused
She'll have to shed her exoskeleton in order to dance.
Worst Miss Havisham Styling, Marie Claire
Poor Leighton Meester. You know Blake Lively could have pulled off that whole sheer matronly thing.
Worst Date, British Vogue
Even the police officer can't get her to touch carbs, son.
Best Knight in Shining Denim, Hype
Those pecs gleam brighter than steel.
Biggest Time Investment, Vaga
Needing a cigarette and a nap after spending an hour slithering into latex pants is not uncommon.
Best P-P-P-Poker Face, Vogue UK
"I promise this, promise this. Check this hand cause I'm marvelous."
Biggest Height Difference, Dazed and Confused
This model knows the L Train is the safest place to hide from Anna Dello Russo if you don't intend to return her headwear.
Best Use of Accessories, Hype
They wouldn't even let the real Minnie Mouse into Disneyland on the days she forgets her pants.
Most Tasteful Nudes, Wonderland
Well, that's one way to circumvent the no-nudity clause in a model's contract.
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