The Times Explains How to Hide Your Gun and Still Look Stylish

By
Woolrich's new "Elite Concealed Carry Chino."

Shame on you, gun-toters who love to slam the lamestream media for hating on your right to bear arms! The Times will not pander to your stereotypes, and here's evidence: Today they have a lengthy article on fashionable ways to carry weapons. (And by "fashionable," they mean "hide," so that other people don't see your gun and become appropriately scared.) Apparently a number of outdoorsy clothing companies have devised special pockets and holsters in otherwise normal-looking street clothes just for the purpose of concealing weapons — presumably in states where it's legal to do so. Reports the Times:

Shawn Thompson, 35, who works at an auto dealership in eastern Kentucky, bought two shirts last month from the Woolrich Elite Concealed Carry line. Both, he wrote on his blog, are a step up from more rugged gear.

"Most of the clothes I used in the past to hide my sidearm looked pretty sloppy and had my girlfriend complaining about my looks," he wrote, adding in an interview, "I’m not James Bond or nothing, but these look pretty nice."

Another big step in the world of gun-concealing clothing: sweat-wicking fabric, coming soon from retailers like Under Armour. Apparently this is being developed not so much to keep the wearer from smelling bad, but because moisture from sweat can cause guns to rust. Priorities, people! 

But why do people want to hide their guns, anyway? (Besides the fact that weapons make other people nervous, that is.) Apparently they just want to seem mysterious, which may or may not make other people think twice about attacking them (at which point they are far more likely to get shot themselves, but anyway!):

The clothing lines address a perceived need in the concealed-carry subculture. Gun owners say they want to practice “maximum uncertainty,” meaning that if a gun is sufficiently concealed, a potential criminal will be unsure whether to attack. Gun experts say the research is inconclusive about whether such tactics reduce crime. Regardless, the clothing makers are jumping on the line of thinking.

“When someone walks down the street in a button-down and khakis, the bad guy gets a glimmer of fear, wondering: are they packing or not?” said Allen Forkner, a spokesman for Woolrich, which started its concealed-carry line in 2010 with three shirts.

So, "a glimmer of fear" is the new plaid? At least it's stinkproof.