Guess What Karl Lagerfeld’s Cat Can Do [Updated]

Choupette, courtesy of V magazine's Twitter feed. V Magazine

Like a proud dad, Karl Lagerfeld takes every opportunity to talk about his adorable white Siamese cat, Choupette. He did so again yesterday while unveiling his latest photography exhibition to WWD, giving us a chance to play our favorite game: Guess which Lagerfeld cat quote is real and which one we made up:

She is a famous beauty. She is nine months old. [Model] Baptiste [Giabiconi] gave her to me for Christmas to watch for two weeks when he was away but then I refused to give her back. I thought she was too cute. She is like a kept woman. She has a strong personality. She has lunch and dinner with me on the table, with her own food. She doesn’t touch my food. She doesn’t want to eat on the floor. She sleeps under a pillow and she even knows how to use an iPad. She has two personal maids, for both night and day. She is beyond spoiled ... When I am not there, the maids take down, in little books, everything she did, from what she ate, to how she behaved, if she was tired, and if she wasn’t sleeping. In the nine months, we already have almost 600 pages. Colette had written a lot about cats. I am not Colette, but I think it could be funny to make a little book of Choupette’s diary.

Or option 2:

She is an insupportable coquette. She is nine months old, so she is going through an adolescent phase. [Model] Baptiste [Giabiconi] gave her to me in December because he was so fed up with her constant flirting — can you blame her, though? We have much in common: We are both very particular about our food. Like me, she eats a high-protein diet and refuses to touch any meat that has not come fresh from the butcher that morning. She eats with me at the table from crystal that I designed personally. She used to try to sleep in bed with me — like I said, she is very forward and flirtatious — but now she sleeps on her own full-size bed in her own suite. She has a maid and a butler all to herself, and her room is outfitted with her own sound system so that she can have the music that she likes. She currently prefers late-nineties Madonna, but her tastes are always changing, so the butler constantly has to adjust her playlist. She has very good taste. I think it could be funny to put out an album of her favorite songs.

The first one is the real one. But wouldn't you totally buy Choupette's album?

Update: But of course, Choupette started a Twitter feed! From her personal iPad, naturally.