Last week, Vogue.com published a lengthy piece about acceptable manners for houseguests during summer weekend getaways. And thank goodness they did! There were some indispensable tips in there, without which we'd have gravely offended our friends over the weekend. Like, "Don’t, while flying to your weekend destination on a friend’s plane, discuss aviation safety and any forecasts for stormy weather." Also:
Don’t outshine your hostess in any way, whether it is what you wear, your jewelry, or how you look in a bathing suit — and always have a cover-up handy, especially when you find yourself alone by the pool with the man of the house. Last, but not least, be measured with the names and places you reference in conversation. For instance, avoid any sentence that begins with: “Last summer, when I was on Charlotte Casiraghi's boat ... ”
We wanted to make a few addendums to their instructions, based on our personal houseguest experiences. Here they are.
— DO accept when your host offers to sleep on the couch so you can have her bed. It's rude to be argumentative.
— DON'T judge your host when she then boots you out of her bed and back onto the couch because she brings home a random guy from the Surf Lodge.
— DON'T hesitate to take home leftover pie. Better yet, just eat the last slice at the table. Pastry doesn't keep well.
— DON'T be bashful about getting ass naked in your friend's outdoor shower, even if the neighbors can definitely see you. It's not like they're going to take pictures, and even if they are, they don't know your name.
— DO bring wine with a twist-off cap. You want your host to provide plenty of alcohol with minimum effort on her part.
— DON'T complain about the awful, smelly bus ride you took to your host's house, unless it involves an unbelievably hilarious story about a fist-fight, a hit-and-run, and/or a disturbingly flirtatious seatmate wearing a wedding ring.
— DO take whatever measures necessary to survive said smelly bus ride, including smuggling alcohol onboard, hoarding overhead luggage space, and shamelessly reading everything your seatmate types on his laptop.
— DON'T feel bad about using your hostess's Frederick Fekkai hair products. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
— DO help yourself to things in the fridge. Your host doesn't want you to be hungry.
— DO bring flowers, no matter what Vogue says. Everybody loves flowers!
— DON'T feel bad about taking naps. It's the weekend, for chrissakes.
— DON'T feel bad about looking better than your hostess in a bikini. That's just silly.
Most Viewed Stories
‘Weed Dick’ Is the New Way for Men to Sexually Disappoint You
The Big Secret of Every Dating App: Tech Doesn’t Matter
How to Get Out of Any Party Conversation
Amber Rose, Populist Slut Hero of Our Time
7 Alternatives to Those Sold-Out L.L. Bean Boots
Portraits of Privilege: A Teen Demands Mac ’n’ Cheese
Cindy Crawford on Bagels, Instagirls, and Bringing the Supermodel Era to TV
You Think You’re Too Classy to Drink Champagne From a Bong?
Why Do I Jerk Awake Right As I’m Falling Asleep?
From Our Partners
Clever nightstand alternatives (for small-spaces!)
7 Eyebrow Mistakes You Need to Stop Making Immediately
11 Struggles Every Girl With Glasses Will Understand
The Day I Told The Ugly Truth About My Marriage
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCate Blanchett Wore a Hot-Pink Suit
Barbie, is that you?All About Chanel’s Airport-Themed Show
Paging Mr. Lagerfeld!Watch the Valentino Livestream
Enjoy!5 Things I Want to Wear From Paris: Part 3
Stripes, embroidered separates, and Céline studded boots.Cindy Crawford on Bagels, Instagirls, and Bringing the Supermodel Era to TV
And how she's helping her daughter navigate the pressures of the modeling industry.Zendaya Floated Around Paris Like a Cloud
Dreamy.See Our Exclusive Portfolio From Paris Fashion Week
Another fashion month dispatch from photographer Tomasz Lazar.Coddington, Kawakubo Star in Interview Portfolio
They were photographed for a sweeping 60-page section by Fabien Baron.American Apparel Files for Bankruptcy
Current shareholders, including Dov Charney, will no longer control the company.The Retired Modeling Agent Who Loves Empire
“I started my own agency — we represented Twiggy — but went off to be assistant to the actor Yul Brynner, who was dating my roommate at the time.”
New York women in winter's least-boring outerwear, from bright-green alpaca fur to leopard-print mohair.Céline’s Woman-Friendly Triumph
Phoebe Philo remains in touch with what women want to wear.Watch the Alexander McQueen Livestream
Enjoy!Watch the Akris Livestream
Enjoy!From Up Close, Raf Simons’s Vision for Dior Is Clear
And don't count John Galliano out at Margiela yet.5 Things I Want to Wear From Paris: Part 2
Cropped sweaters, a spangled skirt, and more.Jaden Smith and Kesha Partied This Week
Along with Cindy Crawford, Anjelica Huston, Rita Ora, and Lena Dunham.Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid Partied in Balmain
Plus: more highlights from Paris Fashion Week's parties, including Jared Leto.See All the Street Style From Paris Fashion Week
Featuring wooden platforms, velvet robes, and floor-length ponchos.Who Won Best-Dressed at Milan Fashion Week?
Another city, another people's choice Peacock.