While Valérie Trierweiler's lawyers frantically distribute letters to tabloids asking them not to publish pictures of France's "first lady" in her two-piece, her British counterpart (41 years old, has given birth to four children) is at the beach in Majorca, Spain, getting down with her bad bikini-clad self. Hello, shame spiral! So, here's what's on my menu for today.
• A tub of guacamole
• Three to four pain au chocolats
• An entire, greasy New York City pizza
• Calamari (inexplicable)
• SO MANY French fries
• Fish 'n' chips, and a battered hot dog (from London, straight to my ass)