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A List of Things to Stress-Eat After Seeing Samantha Cameron in a Swimsuit

While Valérie Trierweiler's lawyers frantically distribute letters to tabloids asking them not to publish pictures of France's "first lady" in her two-piece, her British counterpart (41 years old, has given birth to four children) is at the beach in Majorca, Spain, getting down with her bad bikini-clad self. Hello, shame spiral! So, here's what's on my menu for today.

• A tub of guacamole
• Three to four pain au chocolats
• An entire, greasy New York City pizza
• Calamari (inexplicable)
• SO MANY French fries
• Fish 'n' chips, and a battered hot dog (from London, straight to my ass)

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Cut® are registered trademarks of New York Media LLC.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC.
All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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