GOP’s Ryan Gosling Is Mitt Romney’s Running Mate

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Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images

Long before Representative Paul Ryan (R-WI) was on anyone’s short list for the Romney ticket, he was the blue-eyed heartthrob of the Tumblr blog Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan, a knock-off of the Ryan Gosling meme that mostly proved how hard it is to fashion sexy double entendres out of fiscal policy.

Although he’s well-known on Capitol Hill for his Obama-trolling budget reforms, Representative Ryan is, in other ways, the male Sarah Palin: a bona fide GOP babe. 42 years old to Romney’s 65, Ryan is fluent in the all-American normal-folk stuff that eludes the moneyed presidential nominee.

He lives in the neighborhood where he grew up in Janesville, Wisconsin, with his wife Janna, a tax attorney, and their three children. They’re Catholic. He hunts deer, catches catfish with his bare hands, and makes his own bratwurst. He leads a P90X cross-training workout group of fellow strapping young Republicans in D.C.

He’s Rick Santorum, but Midwestern, crossed with Jarhead-era Jake Gyllenhaal.

And unlike Mitt Romney, his legislative record is spotless.

“He has cast 59 votes on reproductive rights while in Congress and not one has been pro-choice,” NARAL president Nancy Keenan said in a statement today. Representative Ryan voted to de-fund Planned Parenthood and co-sponsored the Federal Abortion Ban, which would criminalize abortion services.

“The Romney-Ryan ticket is dangerous to women’s health,” Keenan said.

Wonder what Feminist Ryan Gosling would have to say about that.