The whopping September issues have arrived, chock full of enough pages to injure your mailman. In keeping with the magazines' increased size, this month's editorials got bigger too. Think: bigger hair, bigger hats, bigger knits, bigger breasts (NSFW plastic ones at that), even bigger egos. Speaking of which, the Brant brothers made the grade with their too-good-to-be-true Interview spread. Yay. Click through to see this and much, much more.
Sauciest Fauns — W
Mr. Tumnus certainly never got frisky like this — but then Mr. Tumnus never made pointy ears look this good either.
Deepest in Thought — Interview
We'll leave it up to you to decide what the Brant boys are mulling over, because the possibilities are just about endless.
Most Likely to Reignite the Tiresome Debate Over Crystal Renn's Weight — Allure Russia
Someone hand her one of those special hammers they have on public transportation to break glass windows in case of an emergency. Crystal needs those sprinkles.
Best Waders — Harper's Bazaar
If she hadn't forgotten the rest of her clothes (and her tackle box), Miranda Kerr could have gone angling in those boots.
Best Coiffs — Vogue Korea
Best coiffs ... for international drug smuggling, that is.
Worst Dose of Rohypnol — Vogue Italia
No end-of-night party photo, not even the most debauched ones Vogue Italia can imagine, should feature unconscious-looking models being dragged out of frame by menacing male figures. Date rape-y scenarios are so not ok.
Best Mid-Shoot Nap — Flare
This is an easy one: The sleeves just look really comfortable. Throw in a plushy bunny and Lindsey's done for the day.
Most Likely to Cancel Her OkCupid Account After This Date — Dazed & Confused
"It's not you, it's me."
Best Barbed Wire Remake — W
First Pamela Anderson suffers the ignominy of being voted off Dancing With the Stars' All Star season; now she'll discover that her seminal camp classic is getting a high-fashion remake. It's just not her week.
Best Plastic Blow-up Doll Breasts — W
If you've got 'em, flaunt 'em. Just not near anyone with a pin.
More Best Plastic Blow-up Doll-esque Breasts — W
Upon closer examination, perhaps these are real breasts (!) tightly encased in a latex bodysuit. Upon closer examination, we also feel like creepsters.
Most Likely to Have Caught the Wrong Bus — Vogue
And now Stella Tennant's stuck wondering just why those helmets always come with straps too short to reach under one's chin. No wait, that's just us.
Most Glaring Olympics Oversight — Vogue UK
It's beyond ridiculous that Jessie J received more screen time in the closing ceremony than Naomi Campbell. And in this gorgeous dress, no less.
Best David Gandy — Vogue Japan
Leather trousers! Stubble! That piercing glare! Okay, this is mainly just for his No. 1 fan, Hilary Moss. But can you blame us for a gratuitous dose of Gandy?
Best Wallpaper — Vogue Italia
Nothing else to see here, right? Nothing else to see here that you'll never be able to unsee, not at all.
Least Likely to Be Actually Riding the Rails — Teen Vogue
Nothing says "I'm hitching a ride hobo-style on a freight train, LOL" like a Marc Jacobs hat that costs more than a first class plane ticket.
Best Canary Hair — Vogue
Tim Walker's photography continues to delight, even if this model seems a little distracted about the fact that her manicure's only half-finished.
Creepiest — Marie Claire UK
Perhaps the only thing worse than carrying around a doll dressed to match your outfit is the fact that said doll may come to life and maim you in your sleep for picking such frumpy prints.
Also Creepiest — Vogue Japan
They could be string instrument virtuosos, but we still want to swat them. Sorry.
Loftiest Expectations — Vogue Spain
Betting odds for the forthcoming race's victor: Maryna Linchuk: 4,000/1.
Best Resemblance to a Piñata — Elle UK
Do you see it too?
Most Likely to Have Been Shot Two Blocks From My House in North London — Wonderland
All it's missing are the remnants of a late-night kebab binge strewn across the road and someone peeing into that hedgerow. (Neighbor stepping out in a fuzzy pink dressing gown is totally on point.)
Most in Need of a Mental Health Counselor, Pronto — Numero
Just because you drank regular Coke this one time doesn't mean it's all over.
Best/Worst Scarecrow — Vogue Paris
There will be no meddlesome birds on this field. However, the crops may be trampled by fashion folk asking Suvi where she got her bowler hat.
Most Likely to Become an Annie Leibovitz Disney Ad for the Next Princess-Themed Movie— Vogue
Or better yet, the poster for a movie in which Florence Welch plays Boudicca — this just needs more tartan.
Best Paint Job — Numero
Why the suspiciously cocked eyebrow, Julia Nobis? Your hair looks great.
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