French Tabloid Prints Photos of Kate Middleton Topless [Updated]

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Photo: Samir Hussein/WireImage

Clearly, this isn't one of them; the Duchess of Cambridge is on day four of her Diamond Jubilee Tour of the Far East, but Friday morning, she visited the Assyakirin Mosque in Kuala Lumpur wearing the perfect outfit for a breaking scandale! Per the entire Internet, France's Closer magazine ran a five-page spread of William and Kate sunbathing on a balcony in the south of France last week, including images of the Mrs. without her bikini top and rolling down her bottoms so Wills could rub in her royal sunscreen. According to Reuters:

Closer's editor-in-chief Laurence Pieau described the photos as a "beautiful series" that showed a couple in love and were in no way degrading. She said the magazine had more intimate shots from the same series that it opted not to publish.

"There's been an over-reaction to these photos. What we see is a young couple, who just got married, who are very much in love, who are splendid," Pieau told French BFM television.

"She's a real 21st Century princess," she added: "It's a young woman who is topless, the same as you can see on any beach in France or around the world."

See — it's no big deal, which is why Closer's headline for the beautiful series was "Oh my God!" Still, St. James's Palace doesn't seem to have the same appreciation for the pictures, issuing the following statement:

Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner.

The incident is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the press and paparazzi during the life of Diana, Princess of Wales, and all the more upsetting to the Duke and Duchess for being so.

Their Royal Highnesses had every expectation of privacy in the remote house. It is unthinkable that anyone should take such photographs, let alone publish them.

Officials acting on behalf of their Royal Highnesses are consulting with lawyers to consider what options may be available to the Duke and Duchess.

Snap! Also, for a minute there, we forgot that Kate might be knocked up, what with all of her water consumption. But Closer apparently spotted her "smoking a cigarette on the way out of Marseille airport, where the pair arrived on a commercial flight." God. Everything is terrible.

Update: TMZ reports that William and Kate are suing Closer and the palace "released a statement saying that 'legal proceedings for breach of privacy have been commenced today in France' by the royal couple."