Miss J on the Finer Points of Wardrobe Malfunctions at Fátima Lopes

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Photo: Francois Mori/AP Photo/Corbis

After being banished from America's Next Top Model, Miss J has resurfaced in the freezing hinterlands of Russia! Well, kind of. The Cut bumped into him in Paris today at Portuguese designer Fátima Lopes's tropical-themed show, one of the first on the official Paris Fashion Week calendar. But it'll be his one and only — J's modeled out, exhausted from his new gig as a judge on Russia's Next Top Model. "We've been filming for six weeks already," he said. "Two of the girls walked [in] the show; otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be at home sleeping."

Lopes's skin-skimming outfits rely more on cutouts than cloth (with a side of side-boob): a challenge for the remaining Russian contestants, presumably accustomed to fur coats and trapper hats; however, Miss J came away proud. "Our two girls killed it, meaning as in good" (in case you weren't sure). Not everyone fared as well: "Like, one girl's boob did pop out. I also saw one girl's cooch and I was like [eyes open wide]." Maybe it was just her flesh-colored underwear? "Yeah, but hers slid."

Though we won't be running into J at any other shows this season, perhaps we'll catch him another time in Paris: He owns a flat in the Marais ("they wait outside the building for me") with his boyfriend, a Frenchie. "He's at work now making money," Miss J said of Mister J. "Nobody knows who he is. He hates all of this stuff. He's just a simple, blond-haired, blue-eyed Frenchman."