Miss J on the Finer Points of Wardrobe Malfunctions at Fátima Lopes

Fashion designer Fatima Lopes, center, poses with TV fashion presenter Vincent Mcdoom, left and J. Alexander, known also as Miss J, is an American model, television personality, backstage prior to her spring-summer 2013 ready to wear collection in Paris, Tuesday, Sept. 25, 2012. Photo: Francois Mori/AP Photo/Corbis

After being banished from America's Next Top Model, Miss J has resurfaced in the freezing hinterlands of Russia! Well, kind of. The Cut bumped into him in Paris today at Portuguese designer Fátima Lopes's tropical-themed show, one of the first on the official Paris Fashion Week calendar. But it'll be his one and only — J's modeled out, exhausted from his new gig as a judge on Russia's Next Top Model. "We've been filming for six weeks already," he said. "Two of the girls walked [in] the show; otherwise, I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be at home sleeping."

Lopes's skin-skimming outfits rely more on cutouts than cloth (with a side of side-boob): a challenge for the remaining Russian contestants, presumably accustomed to fur coats and trapper hats; however, Miss J came away proud. "Our two girls killed it, meaning as in good" (in case you weren't sure). Not everyone fared as well: "Like, one girl's boob did pop out. I also saw one girl's cooch and I was like [eyes open wide]." Maybe it was just her flesh-colored underwear? "Yeah, but hers slid."

Though we won't be running into J at any other shows this season, perhaps we'll catch him another time in Paris: He owns a flat in the Marais ("they wait outside the building for me") with his boyfriend, a Frenchie. "He's at work now making money," Miss J said of Mister J. "Nobody knows who he is. He hates all of this stuff. He's just a simple, blond-haired, blue-eyed Frenchman."