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Both Sides of a Breakup: ‘F*ck Him and Feed Him’

Jake, 39, is a self-made Wall Street womanizer. Victoria, 38, is an ambitious novelist who lured him in, then shortened the leash. After a tumultuous four-year relationship, they reunite to discuss why he wouldn't put a ring on it — and why she assaulted him with her Manolo Blahniks.

JAKE:
In a former life I was a nightlife promoter. A friend of Victoria’s told her to come to a party I was throwing, and said, “Look for a guy named ‘Jason.’” She mixed up the names, and ended up asking for me, because my name was on the invite. I thought she was gorgeous, so I played along for about 40 minutes.

VICTORIA:
He said, “Oh by the way, I’m not really that guy you were looking for.” I was like, “Whatever. You’re hot. Call me.”

JAKE:
The next day was Valentine’s Day. I was dating a bunch of women so I obviously couldn’t contact them because they’d take it too seriously. But I figured the new girl wouldn’t take anything too seriously. So I gave Victoria a call and she said, “I have a date, are you crazy?” But she called me right after the date and we had a bunch of drinks. She insisted, "There’s no way I’m coming home with you, show some respect!” 

VICTORIA:
We ended up at his apartment. I was like, Screw it. The statistics of breaking up or staying together are the exact same, whether you have sex on the first date or not.

JAKE:
I would invite Victoria to my parties, because I knew I could always get away to "check on things." But Tori is wired like a man. That’s what I loved about her. She always pegged it. I was flirting with a waitress at a club once, about to give her a little spanking maybe, and Victoria walked up behind me, grabbed my hand, and said, “Oh hell no!”

VICTORIA:
There were always a million girls around him, tables and tables of beautiful women. Even though I’m Latina, I’m not a jealous person. If you piss me off, that’s another story.

JAKE:
A few months in, she lost her job and stealth-moved-in. That was probably the worst day of my life. I hyperventilated all night.

VICTORIA:
I was like, “By the way, I don’t have my apartment anymore so I’m moving my stuff in here.” In retrospect that's pretty ballsy. I wasn’t scared, but he couldn’t breathe for a week.

JAKE:
At the time all I wanted to do was grow my business, not a relationship. I was up front about that.

VICTORIA:
He made it clear work came first. He didn’t come from money; he didn’t have a lot of stuff his friends had. That made him super-ambitious. I could relate to that. I don’t have rich or famous parents; I don’t come from anything. We were both hungry.

JAKE:
I remember talking about a friend who had fallen in love, and I said, “He’s so done.” And she slapped me and said, “What do you mean? You’re so done!”

VICTORIA:
He adjusted. I cooked for him. I take care of my men. 

JAKE:
We had a good time. She had a great policy: Fuck him and feed him.

VICTORIA:
Two years into it, I was taking my old stuff out of storage, and he had another freak-out. Meanwhile, I think he only once said “I love you” without me prompting him.

JAKE:
I was young, wild, and work-obsessed. Marriage was never once on my mind. Getting out of the relationship was on my mind. I was a complete pussy about it. My friends were like, “She’s beautiful and successful, she’ll be fine!” But I had guilt.

VICTORIA:
I kept saying, "Why don’t you want to marry me? What else can I do? What? What! I take care of you! I do everything right!" I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I remember when he found us a new apartment, it was so nice. But when we went furniture shopping he said, “No more furniture. No more stuff.”

JAKE:
In my heart, I knew she was never going to live there.

VICTORIA:
I went to Aspen for a week with friends, and Jake was going to meet us there. It was our four-year anniversary, Valentine’s Day. The girls were talking nonstop about how it shouldn’t take four years for a guy to know he wants you to be his wife. I was getting madder and madder. Something had to give.

JAKE:
I got to Aspen and she was a white-hot firecracker of Latina temper.

VICTORIA:
I was pissed. I was cursing at him in Spanish and throwing Manolos at him — only because my ski boots were too heavy.

JAKE:
A shoe flew by my head. She was like, “There had better be a ring in that bag!” I was like, “Are you out of your mind?” Then we settled down and had some sex.

VICTORIA:
When we got back, I said I was done. He was like “What do you mean?” He liked it the way it was, boyfriend and girlfriend. Marriage-free. He had a good deal.

JAKE:
When she said that, a weight was lifted from my shoulders; there was music from the heavens. The night she moved out, I had a date. Since the break up, she’s accosted every woman I've dated, saying, “Don’t waste your time.” She also told people that one of my girlfriends was a hooker, kleptomaniac, and drug addict.

VICTORIA:
I tell him exactly how I feel about his new girlfriends. Some girls, I’ve liked. Some are crazy. He doesn’t listen, but always tells me I’m right in the end.

JAKE:
Before her current boyfriend, who I adore, she was dating these old ugly guys. The rich guy with the heart condition, you know? I call her my favorite gold-digger.

VICTORIA:
When I met Jake, he had nothing. So this gold-digger nonsense is not valid. Plus, any girl who says she doesn’t like being taken out by a rich guy is lying.

JAKE:
I’ve dated so many certifiable psychos since her that, comparatively speaking, Victoria was the normal one. She was nuts, but a good nuts. I realize now that all those digs, knives — shoes — thrown at me, were out of love.

VICTORIA:
At the very least, Jake inspired the “Prime Time Player” character in the book I’m writing, The Menhattan Project. Today, I’m madly in love with my boyfriend, a successful model named Peter Argue. He gives me everything I could want and more. With Jake, it was like “Love me, love me, love me.” It shouldn’t be that way. But Jake can only love someone so much.

JAKE:
I’ve finally accomplished everything I wanted to financially and professionally, and now I’m single and looking. It’s wife time.

Read more about Victoria Flores’s upcoming novel, The Menhattan Project, and follow her on Twitter @MenhattanBook. Tell us about your breakups at thecut@nymag.com.

Photo: Gluekit

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Cut® are registered trademarks of New York Media LLC.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC.
All Rights Reserved.

Copyright © 2013, New York Media LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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