A photo of what appears to be Justin Bieber wearing an orange backpack and playing/watching a game of beer pong at a house party surfaced on the Internet today. But what does it mean? Seven ways of considering this banal titillation:
1. Is this a scandal? Bieber is 18, which is the legal age to drink in his foreign homeland, Canada. Some say this picture was taken when Biebs was 17 and in Alabama, but he's got plausible deniability on his side, so this could go the way of Miley Cyrus's "salvia" scandal-not-scandal. And, maybe Bieber is really good at beer pong and never loses rounds, and thus does not need to drink.
2. Metallic blue cans — Bud Lite? Natty Ice? So the child millionaire didn't spot cash for the beer run. Noted.
3. Reasons why a teenager wears a backpack to a party: He is uncool and came straight from tutoring lesson, or is really cool and carrying contraband materials, like alcohol or drugs or sex. Portable sex. Travel-size sex. A collapsible starlet, to impress his bros.
4. These pictures coincide with Bieber onstage barf incident. "Drank too much milk," my foot.
5. Bieber's onstage barf incident coincides with Lady Gaga's onstage barf incident. Biebs vs. Gaga milk pong tourney?
6. Everyone in that picture looks older than Bieber. Guy in the white V-neck even looks kinda hot.
7. If Justin Bieber rushed your fraternity, you would let him in even if you hated him. (Don't deny it. Fame and fortune always win in Darwinist young adult social settings.) The real test of your character would be how you would haze him — worse than everyone else, to exorcise the inescapable demons of your jealousy? Or would you go soft, because deep down you just want to be friends with someone famous?
Most Viewed Stories
How Angelina Jolie Won the First Big Battle in Her Divorce
25 Famous Women on Being Alone
It’s Time to Get Over Your White Feelings and Start Taking Action for Black Lives
22 Intimate Lost Photos of Marilyn Monroe
Everything We Know About Brad Pitt’s Plane Incident
Jaden Smith on the Many Subtle Flavors of Water
Taylor Swift’s Squad Begged Kim Kardashian for Mercy
Adam Levine and Behati Prinsloo Unveiled Their Baby on Instagram
Gigi Hadid Fought Back Against a Creepy Stranger Who Grabbed Her
The 6 Best Denim Shops on Etsy
From Our Partners
The Zoe Report
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesAva DuVernay on Hollywood Racism, Modern-Day Slavery, and Why She’s Still an Optimist
The director, whose new documentary The 13th chronicles America’s history of racial subjugation, talks to Rebecca Traister about Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and the modern criminal-justice system.What No One Tells Couples Trying to Conceive
It helps to be rich.The Hidden Black Women Who Helped Win the Space Race
A segregated unit of mathematicians born of desperation during World War II became the secret to NASA’s success.Slut-Shaming Squids Are Everywhere
The “Bermuda Square” comic strip is back.Santigold’s New Video Is the Result of a Spontaneous Run-in With Kara Walker
The collaboration that dreams are made of.Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield Spotted Together Again, Love Might Be Real
They could be back together ahh!Teen, Forced to Go on Vacation With Her Family, Calls 911
The logical decision.Report: Hearst Fired Seventeen EIC Michelle Tan During Her Maternity Leave
Tan had been at the magazine for about two years.Good Morning America Host Amy Robach Apologizes for Saying ‘Colored People’ on Air
She quickly apologized.Unknown NFL Player Tries to Get Attention by Asking Aly Raisman Out in Video
That’s one way to do it.
Marissa Cooper is poised for a comeback ... maybe.California Votes to Remove Time Limit on Prosecuting Rape Cases
In light of the Bill Cosby case.Beyoncé’s Behind-the-Scenes Lemonade Photos Belong in a Museum
She had the "Boycott Beyoncé" sign already in formation on set.The Rise of the Male Celebrity Full-Frontal
An ex-publicist explains.Gabby Douglas Will Be a Miss America Judge
The gold-medal gymnast will help choose the 2017 pageant winner.Camille Becerra’s Photo Diary of Rockaway Beach
An ideal trip to add and cross off your summer bucket list.Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding
Not even for $1.5 million.Miles Teller Is Still Upset About Being Called a Dick
He wants to set the record straight.Why Parents Shouldn’t Talk About Weight With Their Teens
New guidelines seek to banish weight talk.UVA Student Assaulted at Knifepoint During Orientation Weekend
But some students weren't notified until 24 hours later.