Evolutionary Justification for Karlie Kloss’s Third Armpit [NSFW]

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Photo: Mario Testino/Vogue Spain

From Fashion Copious (and Vogue Spain) comes this Model Magic Eye — try not to look too closely at the retouching, or you might revisit your last meal. Memories! But maybe these fotografía editores are onto something. Maybe, in the Future, man- and womankind will have three armpits. Maybe our children's children will have seventeen armpits each. And maybe everyone will look like Karlie Kloss. It's going to be super confusing and smell terrible, but this is why Karlie has a third armpit:

1. Broader chord range for armpit farting.

2. Worldwide Robert Pattinson seduction.

2a. Miscellaneous sex things.

3. A non-boring Dove Campaign for Real Beauty.

4. Preparation for the triumphant return of Mary Katherine Gallagher.

5. Tumblr. There will always be Tumblr.

6. Storage.