Why We Are Not Having You Over for Dinner

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Photo: Corbis

This week, the Times mourns the death of the dinner party and, with it, the era of “great hostesses” who curated tables of fabulous people for civilized evenings above the fray of icky restaurantgoers. (Most of whom appear to have had paid help to do the actual hostessing parts.) According to them, the dinner party is dying because people are no longer interested in sustaining face-to-face conversation with small groups of people, what with cell phones and social media. Plus, it’s too hard to plan a menu with everyone’s fake allergies and dietary restrictions. Both true! And yet, when you think about it, there are so many other, better reasons not to have a dinner party. 

Off the top of our heads: 

1. Our guests never leave.

2. Or they get drunk and spill something.

3. The dining room has been converted into a bedroom to save on rent.

4. We already belong to a “secret supper club.”

5. Too many restaurant Groupons to use before they expire/Groupon goes bankrupt.

6. No dishwasher.

7. Potential bedbugs.

8. Shame over the bedbugs we already have.

9. We don’t have a household staff to do the cooking and cleaning.

10. And we’re not that good at cooking for ourselves. (Blame fast food and/or our working moms.)

11. But our friends will Instagram pictures of our not-good cooking, and everyone will know.

12. And then the friends we didn’t invite will feel left out, too.