Wendy Williams on Heidi Klum, Seal, and the Bodyguard: ‘Listen, This Story Is a Hot Mess’

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For the "Hot Topics" portion of her show on Tuesday, Wendy Williams bared her soul about Heidi Klum and Seal's breakup. At first, Wendy "was like, My heart is so broken. They're the perfect couple — she's the Victoria's Secret person. And remember, she had the wings and he came out, and they sang, and I just thought that they had such a sexy love. I was in such denial when they announced that they were divorcing, and I said I'd never talk about it again, but I'm a woman, so I have a right to change my mind." Why did Wendy change her mind? Heidi told a German magazine that she's in love with her bodyguard!

In fact, Wendy continues, "They've been out of the closet with their love since September. He's worked for Heidi and the family for four years. Seal, you know what that means — [PAUSE FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT] — and not just when you were out of town. Seal, in my mind, probably the most dangerous risky sex that you can have with a bodyguard is when your husband is outside warming up the car, or in the shower — like, right there in the house, right? Like, just do it dirty, do me dirty, right here in the kitchen, while my husband is in the other room on a conference call." Then, Wendy says Seal should get half of Heidi's money and date Kate Upton.

As for me, I'll never talk about this again, but I'm a ... nope, I'll never talk about this again.