Nine Questions We Have After Watching Stephanie LaCava’s Book Trailer

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To promote her new memoir, An Extraordinary Theory of Objects: A Memoir of an Outsider in Paris, Stephanie LaCava has created a video so seductive, so whimsical, that the world will be bewitched into reading it. Produced by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, the trailer shows LaCava in an off-the-shoulder, seemingly pantsless outfit, accessorized with a live snake, sitting in a dark room with only a candelabra for light. While LaCava sits, an excerpt from her book is read, accompanied by a song by Marlene Dietrich. She says:

That morning, as my sneakers grew soggy in the manicured grounds, I stood in front of the grand house, trying to imagine its old owner, the insane and beautiful Marchesa Casati. I thought I saw someone in the window with almond eyes, holding a candle, though the image was only one of many daydreams. They happened often, because I was so unbalanced: on the best days, I experienced a realism deficiency with an excess of whimsy. Some people's bodies need to make extra blood cells or insulin for survival; mine manufactured fantasy. 

After watching the video, we're left with a few questions:

1. Why would you sneak onto the grounds of a house that is obviously haunted?
2. How exactly does the body manufacture fantasy? 
3. Is the snake motif cool again in music videos?
4. If the grass was so wet, why didn't she wear galoshes?
5. Are the squiggles in the middle of the video meant to represent the "unbalance" she mentions?
6. Why is she basically naked next to an open flame? That seems like a really bad idea.
7. What is she laughing about?
8. Are you actually an outsider if you're known for basically being at all the big parties and socialite-y events, in Paris and the U.S.?
9. How do we get a book deal?