Verizon to Thwart All High-School Hookups

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Photo: Szeling/Floresco/Corbis

Remember how in high school you’d invite someone over to watch a movie and then you’d accidentally actually watch the movie? But you couldn't simply call it a night once the credits rolled because you’d been too chicken to make a move? So you’d just put on whatever channel, but as soon as you started making out, a condom commercial would come on, prematurely acknowledging your unspoken desires? Remember "Trojan MAAAN”?

That’s going to happen a lot more now. Betabeat reports that Verizon has filed a patent for a set-top box that will watch what you’re doing and give you advertisements accordingly. The example in the patent says that the box will detect people "cuddling" and serve them such awkwardly appropriate advertisements as "a commercial for a romantic getaway vacation, a commercial for a contraceptive, a commercial for flowers, a trailer for an upcoming romantic comedy movie, etc."

And then your parents would definitely know what you were up to.