GQ Put Beyoncé in a Belly Chain

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Photo: GQ

Wow, big day for Beyoncé. First, she found out she's got top billing at Obama's last inauguration ever — just kidding, they probably told her ahead of time — performing the national anthem. Now her February GQ cover has leaked! There's a lot to note here:

She covers the magazine's 100 Sexiest Women of the 21st Century issue.

It's not so early in the 21st century that Beyoncé shouldn't be totally honored by this commendation. Especially when you consider that she beat out "all your favorite Jessicas" for the spot. So many formidable Jessicas out there.

She is wearing one-fourth of a football jersey.

Presumably this is in honor of Super Bowl XLVII, which occurs next month. Beyoncé's playing that, too, of course. Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but she's also wearing blue and red, the colors of Pepsi, the sponsor of Beyoncé's Super Bowl half-time show.

Said jersey is cropped to reveal under-boob ...

It really is the new cleavage.

... and a belly chain?

Is that what they're called? These harness/body jewelry/body chain thingies, which are like very long necklaces that cross at your chest bone, cutting across your stomach and up your back, were previously associated with belly dancers and are now popular with Rihanna and other celebrities photographed in bikinis. Like everything else, it looks good on Beyoncé. In fact, she might have just ruined belly chains for the rest of us.

Her panties have zippers on them.

No one knows what their function is; that information is classified for Jay-Z's eyes only. The cover line "Dads Gone Wild" may or may not be a clue.