Co-habitating, unmarried romantic partners don’t know how to refer to each other, the New York Times Style section reports. These long-term lovebirds are under the impression that couples can outgrow “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” (a majority of Cut bloggers’ grandparents disagree) and are resorting to silly neologisms like fusband, for fake husband. These terms are an insult to the English language, which is rich with synonyms for "my no-longer-a-boy-/girlfriend who won't marry me." Use the Cut’s handy guide to find which one is right for you.
Good for: People waiting to marry until their gay friends can.
Term: Baby daddy/mama
Good for: Yuppies who listen to rap.
Term: Gentleman/lady friend
Good for: Grandparents.
Good for: Oversharers, mature sex writers, PDA addicts.
Good for: Our social-media editor who’s hipper than we are.
Good for: New Age–y types, sociologists (Nota bene: Does not work in England).
Good for: Parents trying to embarrass their recently sexually active children.
Good for: Parents trying not to embarrass their recently sexually active children.
Term: Swain (from the Middle English swein)
Good for: Peasants, shepherds/maidens, Ren Faire enthusiasts.
Good for: Katie Roiphe, other people with Messy Lives.
Term: Other half
Good for: Co-dependent people.
Term: Helpmeet (biblical)
Good for: Adam/Eve, people who are supposed to be submissive.
Term: Old man/lady
Good for: Lana Del Rey, people with daddy/mommy issues.
Good for: Jokers, people who want to cheat on their live-in significant other, actual roommates who are secretly hooking up.
Term: POSSLQ (Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters)
Good for: Census workers.
Term: Domestic partner
Good for: People who need health insurance.
Term: “The person I have sex with.”
Good for: Awesome couple that Cut Charlotte met at a party, everyone else.
Most Viewed Stories
Ask Polly: I Overshared My Way Out of a Boyfriend!
What, Exactly, Are Melania and Ivanka Trump Trying to Sell?
The Supreme-Branded Metrocard Is Here
Malia Obama Went to the Club
The Single Guy Who’s Pretty Sure He Split the Bill
Roxane Gay Calls Out Simon & Schuster After They Drop Milo Yiannopoulos
Even Gwen Stefani’s Kids Think It’s Weird If She Doesn’t Wear Makeup
Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling, and Oprah Winfrey Are Having the Time of Their Lives in New Zealand
Melania Trump Removes Language About Making Millions While First Lady From Lawsuit
Alt-Right Troll Milo Yiannopoulos Uses Campus Visit to Openly Mock a Transgender Student
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesA Holiday Season Weekend Through London
A good guide for avid The Crown fans.It’s About Time You Learned Tove Lo’s Name
The singer has crafted pop hits you’ve heard a thousand times by now.Marina Abramovic Has Outlasted Her Lovers and, She Hopes, Her Critics
The world's most famous performance artist at 70.The Wing: Do Women Still Need a Space of Their Own?
This exclusive social club for women, is part sorority, part start-up.In Virtual Reality, Women Run the World
A new generation of female artists is making VR the most diverse corner of the male-dominated tech space.The Novelist Disguised As a Housewife
Shirley Jackson wrote 17 books while raising four children — and she couldn't have had a successful career without them.Ava DuVernay on Hollywood Racism, Modern-Day Slavery, and Why She’s Still an Optimist
The director, whose new documentary The 13th chronicles America’s history of racial subjugation, talks to Rebecca Traister about Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and the modern criminal-justice system.What No One Tells Couples Trying to Conceive
It helps to be rich.The Hidden Black Women Who Helped Win the Space Race
A segregated unit of mathematicians born of desperation during World War II became the secret to NASA’s success.Slut-Shaming Squids Are Everywhere
The “Bermuda Square” comic strip is back.
The collaboration that dreams are made of.Good Morning America Host Amy Robach Apologizes for Saying ‘Colored People’ on Air
She quickly apologized.Unknown NFL Player Tries to Get Attention by Asking Aly Raisman Out in Video
That’s one way to do it.Don’t Mess This Up, Mischa Barton
Marissa Cooper is poised for a comeback ... maybe.California Votes to Remove Time Limit on Prosecuting Rape Cases
In light of the Bill Cosby case.Beyoncé’s Behind-the-Scenes Lemonade Photos Belong in a Museum
She had the "Boycott Beyoncé" sign already in formation on set.The Rise of the Male Celebrity Full-Frontal
An ex-publicist explains.Gabby Douglas Will Be a Miss America Judge
The gold-medal gymnast will help choose the 2017 pageant winner.Camille Becerra’s Photo Diary of Rockaway Beach
An ideal trip to add and cross off your summer bucket list.Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding
Not even for $1.5 million.