Meet the World’s Laziest Valentine’s Day Gift

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You know those homemade coupon books that lazy people make for their loved ones on Valentine’s Day? The ones full of vouchers for basic acts of kindness — back rubs, filling up the gas tank — which the recipient could never really "redeem" because it would mean the humiliating admission of how loveless their relationship has become? Now you can buy those premade.

E-card purveyor Datevitation wrote the Cut this morning to alert us to their love coupon books, which can be customized to include 20 of some 200 date options — everything from not using your phone for a few hours to porn reenactement sex. (To be fair, their X-rated coupons have much funnier stick figure drawings than we could have come up with.) For $20, they'll print the IOUs in a book with perforated pages and deliver them to you or your beloved. Next thing you know someone will be hawking prefab macaroni necklaces outside elementary schools for Mother's Day.