Jennifer Love Hewitt Would Insure Her Breasts If Someone Asked

Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt attends the red carpet launch party for Lifetime and Sony Pictures' "The Client List" at Sunset Tower on April 4, 2012 in West Hollywood, California. Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Jennifer Love Hewitt joked (?) to USA Today that she would consider insuring her breasts for $5 million, if an insurance company made the overture. That figure suggests Hewitt considers her breasts a more crucial asset than Dolly Parton's breasts, which are reportedly insured for $600,000, but more or less dispensable compared to Jennifer Lopez's butt, which is rumored to be insured for $27 million. We could go on but our crass commodification of Hewitt's body probably won't help with another of her reported problems: Her 86-year-old grandmother refers to her as "the TV ho" loudly and in public.