Ranking Stereotypical Looks From the Academy of Country Music Awards

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The Academy of Country Music Awards took place Sunday night (around the same time as that other thing on TV involving the letters A, M, and C), and unlike last year’s more staid affair, some crazy came out to play. Most of what we know about country music comes from ABC’s Nashville, which shuns the genre’s old reputation of being dipped in hairspray and sequins in favor of teaching us that it involves a lot more grit, cardigans, and vintage-looking Anthropologie dresses than anyone thought. Surely TV wouldn’t lie to us; still, we hunted through the looks from One of Country Music’s 43 Biggest Nights of the Year to see what’s truly happening out there. And because everything is meaningless unless there’s a number attached to it, we ranked the most noticeable attendees based on their attachment to those trite old Hee-Haw stereotypes — where one is “No, Hot Topic is that-a-way,” and ten is, “Is that a toothpick in your teeth?” Spoiler: Lots of both.

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