Study: Women Like Big Flaccid Penises

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Photo: Pete McArthur/Corbis

Women do care about penis size, says a study from acronymically appropriate science journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS). A team of researchers studied 105 female Australians' reactions to "49 unique, computer-generated, nude, life-sized male figures" that "varied in three traits: height, shoulder-hip ratio, and flaccid penis size." The women rated the attractiveness of each CGI naked man on a scale of 1 to 7. When the researchers controlled for the other two variables, limp penis size turned out to be "as important as stature" in determining the CGI naked man's attractiveness, NBC News reports:

“As you increase penis size, the amount of attractiveness scores gets bigger” in a linear fashion, he explained, until 7.6 centimeters, or 3 inches. After three inches, attractiveness still increased, but in smaller increments.

In crasser terms: Bigger was always better, but once a CGI naked man passes the three-inch mark, additional length only made him a little better, as opposed to way better. Or so said those 105 Australian ladies, at least:

Not only were the ratings higher, but the women also spent more time gazing at the generously endowed figures, a sign they preferred looking at them as opposed to figures with smaller penises.

Women with a greater body mass index held stronger preferences for big penises. And size was most critical in tall men, perhaps, Mautz speculated, because “a taller guy must have a disproportionately larger penis to sort of make it clear” he’s endowed.

All of which, of course, is but a preamble for CGI naked man's forthcoming porno. He plans to release it the week before Real Flaccid CGI Naked Men of Australia debuts in May.