Earlier this week, Esquire and the Cut lamented how hard it is for men, like women, to have it all, as they say, especially without a sisterhood to lean in to and gab about it with. But Bloomberg Businessweek reports that some men are, in fact, forming support groups to address the challenges of being a working parent. They’re just in Canada.
In Toronto, Deloitte consulting group has a working dads group, Deloitte Dads, a.k.a. “The Fraternity of Paternity.” According to writer Sheelah Kolhatkar, for Deloitte working dads, child-rearing is not about finding work-life balance. “They don’t believe in ‘balance,’” she writes, because they don’t see spending time with their kids as antithetical to work. For them, child-rearing is a part of their job, and they’re on the clock, smartphone charged, 24-7. “Magder and his colleagues sound in many ways like typical MBA guys, only they’re applying the principles of efficient management to the task of parenting,” she writes. Also unlike a Lean In circle: there’s no guilt, no self-flagellation, and minimal feelings.
Behold, a day in the life of Alpha Dad Rob Lanou:
Lanoue, who became partner in 2010, has two children in school full-time, a 5-year-old and a 9-year-old, and he estimates that he works one day a week out of his basement office at home, partly to spend more time with them. He manages this, he says, by “being proactive with my calendar, weeks out,” planning his schedule meticulously, moving in-person meetings to conference calls when he needs to and being blunt and in-your-face about it. Even when he’s in the office, he sometimes has to leave at 3:30 p.m. to drive his son to his hockey games, a fact he broadcasts to help dispel the stink that can trail people when they sneak out early. “Everyone knows my routine when I’m not there,” he says. “Between 3:30 p.m. and 7 p.m., I’m available by e-mail. If there’s anything I have to review, it’s well into the evening.” In other words: It’ll get done, but on his time.
Kolhatkar says this level of efficiency suggests “men might actually be better at handling women’s issues than women.” (Pause for spit-take.) But to me, this sounds exactly like the schedule woman and “Can Women Have It All?” writer Anne-Marie Slaughter was working at the State Department until she realized it was insane, leaned the heck out, and, well, kicked off this entire conversation. There’s lots more to think about over at Bloomberg Businessweek (including an interview with the father of the Men’s Rights Movement), and in the meantime, any men who want to talk about their feelings and/or turn off their BlackBerrys are welcome at my lunch table/Lean In circle.
Most Viewed Stories
‘Weed Dick’ Is the New Way for Men to Sexually Disappoint You
Portraits of Privilege: A Teen Demands Mac ’n’ Cheese
How to Get Out of Any Party Conversation
The Big Secret of Every Dating App: Tech Doesn’t Matter
Amber Rose, Populist Slut Hero of Our Time
7 Alternatives to Those Sold-Out L.L. Bean Boots
Adriana Lima on Boxing, Brazilian Beauty Secrets
Cindy Crawford on Bagels, Instagirls, and Bringing the Supermodel Era to TV
Why Do I Jerk Awake Right As I’m Falling Asleep?
From Our Partners
5 Eyeliner Rules Most Women Break (and How to Redeem Yourself)
The Eye Makeup Tip That Will Put Plastic Surgeons Out of Business
5 Best Sex Positions to Practically Guarantee an Orgasm
Thrillist: Things No Self-Respecting Adult Should Be Doing on Facebook
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesInstagram Would Totally Free the Nipple If They Could
Blame Apple!Maybe Refrain from Tweeting 'Kill All White Men'
We know it's hard.The Unexpected Personal Connection Behind the DOMA Decision
In an excerpt from her new memoir, lawyer Roberta Kaplan describes how she first crossed paths with Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer.Lame U.S. Constitution Doesn’t Even Protect Sex Parties
What's the First Amendment even for, anyway?Even in Death, Grandma Will Not Stop Burning Alex Rodriguez
Never stop sassing.Chrissie Hynde Doesn’t Care If You Buy Her Book or Her Version of Rape
She's a rock star, not a spokesperson.Rihanna Will Never Settle
When it comes to men, she says, "I will wait forever if I have to ... but that’s O.K."Portraits of Privilege: A Teen Demands Mac ’n’ Cheese
It does not end well.Amber Rose, Populist Slut Hero of Our Time
She walked, she twerked — and she was pretty inspiring.This IUD Ad Is Actually About Staten Island
Even your birth control doesn’t want to take the ferry.
Think again.‘Weed Dick’ Is the New Way for Men to Sexually Disappoint You
It's like whiskey dick, but with weed.How to Get Out of Any Party Conversation
A helpful guide.Would You Date a Guy on a Hoverboard? A Survey
An important poll for our time.Americans Just Want to Eat in Peace — So They Hide It
We're a nation who hides our snacks.All the Ceilings Women Keep Hitting Their Heads On
There's a Rob-shaped hole on the new Cosmo cover.Queen Ronda Rousey Is the First Woman to Cover Aussie Men’s Fitness
She's flexin' down under.Astrology GIFs for the Week of October 5, 2015
This week's horoscopes.The Big Secret of Every Dating App: Tech Doesn’t Matter
Just like at bars, it's the crowd that counts.