In every office, every sorority, every gathering of post-industrial white-collar Westerners, there is a tribe of Diet Coke fiends. Our most visible members are female. We tend to be type A overachievers and controlling about caloric intake — the kind of women to whom Diet Coke spokesperson Taylor Swift might appeal. Our allegiance to our beverage of choice is strong. We carry Diet Coke in our purses. We know the chemical-taste hierarchy of artificial sweeteners. (Aspartame purists resort to Diet Pepsi before stooping to Coke Zero.) We recognize our kind when we see each other stocking up at the bodega. We share tips about convenience stores with steady Diet Coke supplies, and those with lower prices. When the office vending machine runs out of Diet Coke, we riot.
We are not safe.
Diet Coke fiends worldwide are reeling today at the discovery of a woman who drank nothing but cola soda for sixteen years (our hero!) in Monaco (ooh la la) who is now suffering from heart problems (oh shit).
Based on findings presented at a medical conference in Athens, Live Science reports that the 31-year-old woman "did not have a family history of heart or hormone problems. But she told her doctors that, since the age of 15, she had not drunk any water — soda (specifically cola) was the only liquid she consumed. She drank about 2 liters (2 quarts) of cola daily, she said."
Now, we do not know what type of cola soda this woman was drinking. We do not know the brand. We do not know if it was Diet. We do not know if this remarkably dedicated woman — this paragon of loyalty and/or OCD — preferred aspartame, sucralose, acesulfame potassium, fructose, or sucrose. (Translation for novices: Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Splenda, 50 percent of Coke Zero, Coca-Cola in America, and Coca-Cola in Mexico.) But like the New Zealand woman who allegedly died from Coca-Cola addiction last year, hers is a cautionary tale. Puberty-onset cola soda addiction may be pleasurable, but also dangerous.
Luckily the news is not all bad. "After abstaining from soda for just one week, the woman's potassium levels and heart electrical activity returned to normal," Live Science writes. The findings have not yet appeared in a peer-reviewed journal, but maybe consider taking a week off to drink some water once your Diet Coke diet reaches its fifteenth-year anniversary anyway.
Shop: The Cut's June Picks
Most Viewed Stories
Here’s the Official List of Speakers for the Women’s March on Washington
This Conspiracy Theory Will Change How You Feel About the Bachelor Villain
The Ultimate Guide to Preparing for the Women’s March
15 Protest Sign Ideas for the Women’s March on Washington
Your Guide to Peeing During the Women’s March on Washington
Bernie Sanders Reviews the Balenciaga Men’s Collection
Inauguration Committee Chairman Says Kanye West Wasn’t Invited to Perform Because It’s a ‘Typically and Traditionally American’ Event
Sexual Assault in the Amazon
The Sheer Perfection of Donald Trump’s Golden Shower
Feeling Anxious on Inauguration Day? These Art Museums Are Offering Refuge
From Our Partners
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesA Holiday Season Weekend Through London
A good guide for avid The Crown fans.It’s About Time You Learned Tove Lo’s Name
The singer has crafted pop hits you’ve heard a thousand times by now.Marina Abramovic Has Outlasted Her Lovers and, She Hopes, Her Critics
The world's most famous performance artist at 70.The Wing: Do Women Still Need a Space of Their Own?
This exclusive social club for women, is part sorority, part start-up.In Virtual Reality, Women Run the World
A new generation of female artists is making VR the most diverse corner of the male-dominated tech space.The Novelist Disguised As a Housewife
Shirley Jackson wrote 17 books while raising four children — and she couldn't have had a successful career without them.Ava DuVernay on Hollywood Racism, Modern-Day Slavery, and Why She’s Still an Optimist
The director, whose new documentary The 13th chronicles America’s history of racial subjugation, talks to Rebecca Traister about Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and the modern criminal-justice system.What No One Tells Couples Trying to Conceive
It helps to be rich.The Hidden Black Women Who Helped Win the Space Race
A segregated unit of mathematicians born of desperation during World War II became the secret to NASA’s success.Slut-Shaming Squids Are Everywhere
The “Bermuda Square” comic strip is back.
The collaboration that dreams are made of.Good Morning America Host Amy Robach Apologizes for Saying ‘Colored People’ on Air
She quickly apologized.Unknown NFL Player Tries to Get Attention by Asking Aly Raisman Out in Video
That’s one way to do it.Don’t Mess This Up, Mischa Barton
Marissa Cooper is poised for a comeback ... maybe.California Votes to Remove Time Limit on Prosecuting Rape Cases
In light of the Bill Cosby case.Beyoncé’s Behind-the-Scenes Lemonade Photos Belong in a Museum
She had the "Boycott Beyoncé" sign already in formation on set.The Rise of the Male Celebrity Full-Frontal
An ex-publicist explains.Gabby Douglas Will Be a Miss America Judge
The gold-medal gymnast will help choose the 2017 pageant winner.Camille Becerra’s Photo Diary of Rockaway Beach
An ideal trip to add and cross off your summer bucket list.Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding
Not even for $1.5 million.