Sunglasses maker Oakley plans to market its products to women by deriding other women — the ones who hang out in sweatpants or leggings even though they’re not working out, per se. “This is for running, not running errands," says a new advertisement. According to Ad Age, Oakley vice-president of global business Josée Perreault (the company’s highest-ranking woman) “insists” there's an “epidemic” of women wearing training apparel and glasses for purposes other than exercise. (All those corpulent fellows in track suits, on the other hand? Actual Olympians.) In order to differentiate Oakley, the company devised a contract, wherein Oakley women promise not to wear their sunglasses to the carpool or grocery store. One no longer need wonder where the cool kids who shop at Abercrombie go when they enter middle age.