Three women suing Merrill Lynch for gender discrimination say they were fired for failing to “seduce the boys club,” the New York Post reports. Seriously: Female trainees were allegedly given copies of a book called Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Tactics From a Woman at the Top, and ordered to attend a lecture by author Nina DiSesa, the first female chairwoman at ad giant McCann Erickson. Other alleged girls-only duties included answering phones, being “perky” and “bubbly,” and attending events on topics like “dressing for success” and “preparing healthy meals while working full-time.” But the book alone would be enough to make a gal litigious.
Until the feminist revolution is complete, DiSesa writes, women need to act as much like men as possible. “Men feel comfortable with their own kind,” she notes. If they must be womanly, they should leverage their feminine wiles to seduce and manipulate (S&M, in her cheeky parlance) their male counterparts. DiSesa nurtures the colleagues she refers to as the “Bad Boys on [Floor] 27” until they no longer fear competition, sugarcoats criticism to protect their egos, and serves as an unholy mother-girlfriend-bro figure. We skimmed Seducing the Boys Club this morning for these representative tips:
On performance reviews:
This works with all men when I want them to stop behaving badly. “I don’t know why I’m so crazy about you when you act like such a prick.” What this says is that I love them in spite of their faults, but I still see their faults and I want them fixed.
It was also important to reinforce his hunk status, assuring him that the small bald spot at the top of his head was hardly noticeable and that he hadn’t “lost it” when a woman would break up with him or refuse to date him (a rare event). He needed to know that he had my love unconditionally; it was the only way he could ever trust me with his fragile ego.
On time management:
I play on their masculine pride and natural instincts to protect the weaker sex.
“I can’t figure this out, and I’m exhausted,” I will say to one of the men at the office. “And if it’s not done by tomorrow, I’m dead.”
“I’ll do it,” he’ll invariably say. But his rescue mission won’t be truly satisfying to him unless I show my appreciation for the sacrifice he is making on my behalf. This is as crucial as saying thank you.
“No, no, you’re swamped, too,” I’ll say.
“I’ll make the time for it.”
“Thank you. I love you.”
“I know. You’re welcome.”
It’s like great sex. Everyone walks away feeling fulfilled.
We decided to meet over lunch, which meant I would have about an hour to position myself as the best and strongest candidate for the job. Jim had a full beard in those days and the lobster salad sandwich he had ordered was full of mayonnaise that was getting all over his beard. I sweetly pointed out to him that he would need a shower when were finished with lunch, and did he notice how neat my lunch was? “I’ve out-ordered you,” I said to him. “Want my napkin?”
Maggie was a smart woman who worked with male colleagues who always excluded her. The men would hang out with one another and make business decisions while they were out drinking, having lunch, or playing pool. She could have whined and complained that they were not being team players, but that would only have made them excluded her more. Instead Maggie asked herself, what do men love? Beer. Candy. Toys. So she stocked her mini fridge with beer along with her designer water; she kept a big bowl of candy on her desk, she brought in games like boggle and checkers. Pretty soon the boys were hang out in her office, and when they discussed things of business interest, Maggie was right there with them.
“If you know you are going to have a contentious meeting with a man, you can defuse his anger before he even opens his mouth. Unless he is morbidly obese, there is no man on earth who won’t puff up at this sentence: Wow, you look great. Been working out?
Of course, these are all just stop-gap measures until women can rule the world benevolently — DiSesa says she believes in radical female supremacy — but you'll have to read the whole book. Somehow I doubt Merrill Lynch did.
Shop: Flat Sandals
Most Viewed Stories
What, Exactly, Are Melania and Ivanka Trump Trying to Sell?
Ask Polly: I Overshared My Way Out of a Boyfriend!
The Supreme-Branded Metrocard Is Here
Roxane Gay Calls Out Simon & Schuster After They Drop Milo Yiannopoulos
The Single Guy Who’s Pretty Sure He Split the Bill
Malia Obama Went to the Club
Even Gwen Stefani’s Kids Think It’s Weird If She Doesn’t Wear Makeup
Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling, and Oprah Winfrey Are Having the Time of Their Lives in New Zealand
Melania Trump Removes Language About Making Millions While First Lady From Lawsuit
Alt-Right Troll Milo Yiannopoulos Uses Campus Visit to Openly Mock a Transgender Student
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesA Holiday Season Weekend Through London
A good guide for avid The Crown fans.It’s About Time You Learned Tove Lo’s Name
The singer has crafted pop hits you’ve heard a thousand times by now.Marina Abramovic Has Outlasted Her Lovers and, She Hopes, Her Critics
The world's most famous performance artist at 70.The Wing: Do Women Still Need a Space of Their Own?
This exclusive social club for women, is part sorority, part start-up.In Virtual Reality, Women Run the World
A new generation of female artists is making VR the most diverse corner of the male-dominated tech space.The Novelist Disguised As a Housewife
Shirley Jackson wrote 17 books while raising four children — and she couldn't have had a successful career without them.Ava DuVernay on Hollywood Racism, Modern-Day Slavery, and Why She’s Still an Optimist
The director, whose new documentary The 13th chronicles America’s history of racial subjugation, talks to Rebecca Traister about Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and the modern criminal-justice system.What No One Tells Couples Trying to Conceive
It helps to be rich.The Hidden Black Women Who Helped Win the Space Race
A segregated unit of mathematicians born of desperation during World War II became the secret to NASA’s success.Slut-Shaming Squids Are Everywhere
The “Bermuda Square” comic strip is back.
The collaboration that dreams are made of.Good Morning America Host Amy Robach Apologizes for Saying ‘Colored People’ on Air
She quickly apologized.Unknown NFL Player Tries to Get Attention by Asking Aly Raisman Out in Video
That’s one way to do it.Don’t Mess This Up, Mischa Barton
Marissa Cooper is poised for a comeback ... maybe.California Votes to Remove Time Limit on Prosecuting Rape Cases
In light of the Bill Cosby case.Beyoncé’s Behind-the-Scenes Lemonade Photos Belong in a Museum
She had the "Boycott Beyoncé" sign already in formation on set.The Rise of the Male Celebrity Full-Frontal
An ex-publicist explains.Gabby Douglas Will Be a Miss America Judge
The gold-medal gymnast will help choose the 2017 pageant winner.Camille Becerra’s Photo Diary of Rockaway Beach
An ideal trip to add and cross off your summer bucket list.Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding
Not even for $1.5 million.