Most former U.S. presidents don’t live to see their biopics. Former First Lady and secretary of state Hillary Clinton will get to see three before she even has the chance to win her party's nomination. In addition to the buzzy Hollywood treatment coming up with Rodham, NBC and CNN announced last month that they had their own HRC projects in the pipeline. All three are still months, if not years, away. But they have collectively generated enough controversy and casting speculation to carry us through until their official press cycles begin, at which point we should just be gearing up for the primaries again. If we play our cards right, we will have managed to talk about Clinton for the entirety of her post-cabinet, pre-campaign hiatus and speaking tour without interruption. (Point: 24-hour news cycle.) Here’s a quick and dirty guide to Hillary Clinton movies to get you through.
Rodham, a feature film from the girl coming-of-age experts: the Twilight Saga producers and James Ponsoldt, director of The Spectacular Now.
Due date: Unknown.
Playing HRC: Undecided. Carey Mulligan reportedly passed on the role, and Scarlett Johansson or Amanda Seyfried are being considered.
HRC life stage depicted: 1974, when HRC was a 26-year-old lawyer on Nixon’s impeachment inquiry committee.
Nature of the scandal: Sexual. According to the Daily Beast, young Hillary and Bill (who will look like a “Viking” with a six-inch beard) “devour” each other, until they are interrupted, by their careers calling. HRC will dish about her sex life to girlfriends and say “motherfuckin’” a lot. Blame Bridesmaids.
Untitled Hillary Clinton Documentary, the not-yet-titled feature-length documentary from CNN Films and the Oscar-winning Inside Job director Charles Ferguson.
Due date: Will have a 2014 theatrical run before appearing on CNN.
Playing HRC: HRC
HRC life stage depicted: Unknown, probably some obscure yet foundational life phases we haven’t even considered yet. (An inspirational mock Congress in eighth-grade civics? An Arkansas campaign stop that quietly revealed truths of American life? A poignantly insightful remark on the nature of motherhood and work from Chelsea, age 8?) Ferguson is known for his in-depth research.
Nature of the Scandal: Political. Earlier this week Republican National Committee chair Reince Priebus threatened to exclude CNN from the 2016 primary debates for lavishing airtime on the probable Democratic nominee (and using a lefty hero director like Ferguson, no less). CNN called the threatened boycott the “ultimate disservice” to voters.
Hillary, an NBC mini-series by Courtney Hunt, writer and director of the gritty female perseverance drama Frozen River.
Due date: “Prior to the ... presumed announcement that she will run for president in 2016,” according to The Hollywood Reporter, so, sometime in the next eighteen months.
Playing HRC: Diane Lane.
HRC life stage depicted: 1998 to the present, covering her husband’s second term, her Senate tenure, presidential campaign, Obama cabinet career.
Nature of the scandal: Sexual and political. Along with CNN, Priebus has threatened to boycott NBC for the Republican primary debates. NBC maintains that its entertainment division (where Hillary is a sort of Hail Mary pass for ratings) is totally independent of its news division. But it’s also has been suggested that Lane is too sexy to play the former secretary of state. Maybe if they can rush Rodham out first, the public will be primed for a sexier HRC.
Most Viewed Stories
Karl Lagerfeld Calls Out Meryl Streep for Canceling an Order for a Chanel Dress
Taylor Swift Is Not Going to Be Happy About This New Friendship
It Sure Looks Like Diane Kruger Is Dating Norman Reedus Now
Rereading The Handmaid’s Tale, One Month Into the Trump Era
Woman Framed by Ex-Boyfriend’s Wife in Craigslist ‘Rape Fantasy’ Plot Speaks Out
Someone Paid $2,000 to Provide Us With This Terrible Billboard
Sports Illustrated’s New Curvy Model on Fitness, Staying Healthy, and Embracing Her Body
Why Did Everyone Act Like I Was Crazy When I Decided to Have a Baby in My 20s?
Witches Are Planning to Hex Trump This Friday
People Everywhere Agree That Justin Trudeau Has a Good Butt
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesA Holiday Season Weekend Through London
A good guide for avid The Crown fans.It’s About Time You Learned Tove Lo’s Name
The singer has crafted pop hits you’ve heard a thousand times by now.Marina Abramovic Has Outlasted Her Lovers and, She Hopes, Her Critics
The world's most famous performance artist at 70.The Wing: Do Women Still Need a Space of Their Own?
This exclusive social club for women, is part sorority, part start-up.In Virtual Reality, Women Run the World
A new generation of female artists is making VR the most diverse corner of the male-dominated tech space.The Novelist Disguised As a Housewife
Shirley Jackson wrote 17 books while raising four children — and she couldn't have had a successful career without them.Ava DuVernay on Hollywood Racism, Modern-Day Slavery, and Why She’s Still an Optimist
The director, whose new documentary The 13th chronicles America’s history of racial subjugation, talks to Rebecca Traister about Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and the modern criminal-justice system.What No One Tells Couples Trying to Conceive
It helps to be rich.The Hidden Black Women Who Helped Win the Space Race
A segregated unit of mathematicians born of desperation during World War II became the secret to NASA’s success.Slut-Shaming Squids Are Everywhere
The “Bermuda Square” comic strip is back.
The collaboration that dreams are made of.Good Morning America Host Amy Robach Apologizes for Saying ‘Colored People’ on Air
She quickly apologized.Unknown NFL Player Tries to Get Attention by Asking Aly Raisman Out in Video
That’s one way to do it.Don’t Mess This Up, Mischa Barton
Marissa Cooper is poised for a comeback ... maybe.California Votes to Remove Time Limit on Prosecuting Rape Cases
In light of the Bill Cosby case.Beyoncé’s Behind-the-Scenes Lemonade Photos Belong in a Museum
She had the "Boycott Beyoncé" sign already in formation on set.The Rise of the Male Celebrity Full-Frontal
An ex-publicist explains.Gabby Douglas Will Be a Miss America Judge
The gold-medal gymnast will help choose the 2017 pageant winner.Camille Becerra’s Photo Diary of Rockaway Beach
An ideal trip to add and cross off your summer bucket list.Sorry Nerds, Ian McKellen Won’t Officiate Your Expensive Lord of the Rings–Themed Wedding
Not even for $1.5 million.