If FASHION WEEK were a logo, we’d have it printed on our brand-new spring 2014 Alexander Wang miniskirt because, hey, this weekend wasn’t so bad! The sun was shining, everyone was wearing Nikes, and this e-cigarette addiction is working out just fine, thanks. Saturday was all about heavy-hitters: Alex, Prabal, and Joseph (okay, we mean Altuzarra; that first name thing doesn’t always work) while Sunday started with Victoria Beckham and ended with Opening Ceremony. We’d try to find some way to seamlessly connect those two houses, but let’s be honest, it’s just too hard. (How about this: Things that shouldn’t be good but actually really are.)
Speaking of! Below you’ll find the 26 things you’ll probably want to know from Saturday and Sunday, whether you were along for the ride or gazing from afar or, you know, just enjoying your weekend without trying to crane your neck to get a look at Kanye West, Justin Bieber, David Beckham, or all those gorgeous clothes and accessories from the runway. We’ll see you out and about, and don’t start wearing grass-green until next spring, okay? (Eva Chen, you’re exempt.)
1. We shouldn’t start like this, but … David Beckham looks just as good in person as in (blurry) photographs.
2. The most heartwarming thing of Sunday was not Harper Beckham wearing Kid Chloé, but seeing Anna Wintour be totally smiley with a child, encouraging her to clap, enjoy, etc., in a positively sweet way. It was awesome.
3. Less awesome: The juxtaposition of homeless man on the New York Post Office stairs and fashion throngs exiting Prabal Gurung’s show.
4. But, back to the awesome: Prabal’s show involved all the models standing stark still under fluorescent lights before they walked. There was this one model – in the pink satin dress – who couldn’t stop looking around. She was trying to stop herself, but she just had to see what was going on around her. We don’t blame her. In fact, we salute you, Fidgety Observing Model. Pretty dress, too.
7. Also at Y-3, we saw Yohji, in the flesh, doing improvisational skat drumming. You do you, man.
8. Random acts of kindness in this brave new world now include: Lending out your Mophie to someone. And/or giving someone a drag of your e-cigarette. The latter hasn’t quite worked out its barter-economy yet (it’s $1 per bum with non-electronic cigarettes, right?), so Mophie-borrowing is a safer bet.
9. Before the Band of Outsiders show, we were impressed to read in the notes that Scott Sternberg was collaborating with Manolo Blahnik. Even more impressive: They were rope sandals. (And to be fair, regular shoes, too.)
10. Socks with sandals and open-toed shoes are a thing this season. We would illustrate this with every example from the runway, but we would break the Internet with the number of images required.
11. In other accessory news: really fun hats at Creatures of Comfort.
12. And SPEAKING OF HATS: Tibi’s were made from Popsicle sticks. We’d call this a cost-cutting measure, but it probably required a team of (absolute-100-percent-paid) interns/artisans several nights to create. (We’re not even being sarcastic here, so let it rest, okay?)
14. Now is the portion where we enter Alexander Wang territory for a second, cool? At his show, there were Parental Advisory logos from the nineties and his own logo all over everything (so nineties) and the best song ever (from the nineties): Pharoahe Monch's "Simon Says." Sit the fuck down and watch the video.
15. And, yes, he threw a party. But you’d never know it because someone has the photo exclusive of all the pictures (Vogue, datchu?) so thanks, Instagram. Things of note: Nicki Minaj performed.
16. Rihanna came, did not sing.
17. Hello Kitty came. Since the party was Harajuku-themed, though, and held in a mall, there was some sort of exclusive element here: Only certain people got Hello Kitty dolls. A few people on our staff might have tried and failed.
18. Don't worry: Party media blackout seems to be a thing. Lady Gaga threw a party for Stephen Gan. Ciara sang at Prabal’s party. No one really has anything to say about either, at least publicly. Great sign of a great party.
19. After Prabal and Wang, there is only one man to discuss from Saturday: A-L-T-U-Z-A-R-R-A. At the risk of sounding like Stefon, again, he gave us fashion. But, here, let our critic Robin Givhan explain it.
20. While sitting at the massive DVF show, we spent a good portion of the epically long presentation debating whether Karlie Kloss or Joan Smalls would close the show. And then Naomi Campbell did. BOOM! (We still do that on the Internet, right?)
21. The weather has been nice. Weren’t we all freaking out about some hurricane last week? Anna Laub of Prism had the perfect Saturday and setting (sunny, Le Bain) to show her eyewear and swim collection. To brighten up the day even more, attendee Susie Bubble's neon pink ensemble was actually quite refreshing amid all the dark clothes worn to shows.
23. We feel bad about our Rebecca Minkoff comment from the last Hit List. (And by we, I mean me.) Apparently you’re not supposed to talk about skipping shows even if you do. But come on, there’s just too much. How are you supposed to choose between Derek Lam and Hood by Air when they’re at the same time. Okay, bad example, but you know what I’m saying? Meet me at the Apple store and let’s discuss while we charge our phones.
24. Opening Ceremony always surprises us just when we think we're too tired to be surprised. Last night: A show that mixed Too Fast Too Furious and Grand Theft Auto with an intense amount of chartreuse clothing. Somehow, it worked, and good on them for featuring both Cobras and Hondas. Democratic! Also: Rihanna. Girl knows how to party.
25. Naked people protested/celebrated/we don't know the DKNY show.
Naked people outside @dkny. Way too much shaft for a Sunday afternoon. Get the fuck lost.— John Jannuzzi (@johnjannuzzi) September 8, 2013
Okay, uncross your legs, y’all. We’ve got four more days of photographers yelling at the runway.