Apropos of nothing, today's Daily Mail ran a story about a product called a "face bra" — a rubberized device worn around the head that supposedly slims the jawline and prevents wrinkles. According to one brand, "If you worry about your smile or laugh lines (nasolabial folds), then a simple but effective device like this that you can wear daily is your ticket to combating the signs of ageing." By "wearing daily," they must mean "wearing furtively in the privacy of your own home, preferably alone," because these things look very odd. And considering their questionable effectiveness, they also make you look gullible.
The Mail chose to feature the Hourei Lift Bra, sold by a retailer called Japan Trend Shop for about $40 (it is recommended that you also do "mouth exercises" while wearing it). But "face bras," which are usually called something more dignified yet cumbersome like a "Slim Line Lifting & Shaping Patch," have been marketed in Asia for years. Here's an example of the aforementioned product, available on eBay for $44:
The upside of these absurd-looking items is that they're all relatively inexpensive. But if you don't want to part with any money at all, you could just make one for yourself out of an old Ace bandage, because that's all "the Face Wrap" seems to be.
This version, the "Super Face Hot & Shape Mask Sheet," is single-use and resembles a surgical mask, only pulled down over the chin instead of worn over the mouth.
And this one comes with ear holes so that you can at least hear the TV while you're sitting on your couch alone, waiting for your face to get skinnier.
Moral of the story: Your face does not need Spanx, and for the love of all things holy, spare yourself from researching this weird cosmetic trend on the Internet.
Most Viewed Stories
Mary-Kate Olsen Strains Every Muscle in Her Face in an Attempt to Smile
The Fashion Executive Who Doesn’t Wear Underwear on Dates
25 Famous Women on Being Alone
22 Intimate Lost Photos of Marilyn Monroe
Prince George Has No Time for Justin Trudeau’s High Fives
How Angelina Jolie Won the First Big Battle in Her Divorce
It’s Time to Get Over Your White Feelings and Start Taking Action for Black Lives
2009 Called — It Wants Its Vogue-Versus-Bloggers Fight Back.
Former Miss Universe Becomes U.S. Citizen So She Can Vote Against Trump
Madame Clairevoyant: Horoscopes for the Week of September 26
From Our Partners
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.