Katy "Katheryn Hudson" Perry and Kate Hudson have forged an alliance based on having the same name. As we well know, this is the basis for the most frightening kind of female friendship. It's the glue of the girl clique that exists to intimidate: The Kates are the new Heathers.
In an interview with Sirius, Perry detailed the damage:
When we text, it's like 'Hudson here.' We are buds and we get along ... And she is super cool, she is gorgeous, to die for.
"To die for and to kill for," murmurs Kate Moss as she grooms Lila for the next generation's elite-girl clique. Perry continues:
We have become friends and go to game nights together, we play this game called Mafia. Do you know that game? We play it all the time.
We know the game. It's a game of manipulation and mind-fucking, where someone's head is a croquet ball and someone's diabolical spirt is the mallet. KATIE HOLMES IS ALWAYS RED. Why did you even ask, Kate Spade? Do you want a mocktail of Drano and malicious rumors? The Kates would hate to do that to you. Yes, Middleton has these Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads on lock. It's a moment of peace in their world of animosity and one-upmanship.
Even with Couric's efforts at diplomacy, there are still under-the-surface tensions and petty jealousies. Bosworth is rumored to whisper to the stars each night, "Tomorrow, I'll be kissing her aerobicized ass, but tonight, let me dream of a world without Kate Upton, a world where I am free." The Kates know the price they must pay if they want to fuck with the eagles. They know that life can't be all fun and mind games. If they were happy every day of their lives, they wouldn't be human beings. They'd be Gwyneth Paltrow.
Shop: Best Boots For Winter
Most Viewed Stories
‘Weed Dick’ Is the New Way for Men to Sexually Disappoint You
The Big Secret of Every Dating App: Tech Doesn’t Matter
How to Get Out of Any Party Conversation
Amber Rose, Populist Slut Hero of Our Time
Cindy Crawford on Bagels, Instagirls, and Bringing the Supermodel Era to TV
7 Alternatives to Those Sold-Out L.L. Bean Boots
You Think You’re Too Classy to Drink Champagne From a Bong?
Why Do I Jerk Awake Right As I’m Falling Asleep?
All the Ceilings Women Keep Hitting Their Heads On
From Our Partners
7 Eyebrow Mistakes You Need to Stop Making Immediately
Fabulous Find of the Week: Forever 21 Trench Coat
This 30-Day Squat Challenge Will Transform Your Body
Thrillist: Things No Self-Respecting Adult Should Be Doing on Facebook
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Love and War FeaturesRihanna Will Never Settle
When it comes to men, she says, "I will wait forever if I have to ... but that’s O.K."Portraits of Privilege: A Teen Demands Mac ’n’ Cheese
It does not end well.Amber Rose, Populist Slut Hero of Our Time
She walked, she twerked — and she was pretty inspiring.This IUD Ad Is Actually About Staten Island
Even your birth control doesn’t want to take the ferry.You Think You’re Too Classy to Drink Champagne From a Bong?
Think again.‘Weed Dick’ Is the New Way for Men to Sexually Disappoint You
It's like whiskey dick, but with weed.How to Get Out of Any Party Conversation
A helpful guide.Would You Date a Guy on a Hoverboard? A Survey
An important poll for our time.Americans Just Want to Eat in Peace — So They Hide It
We're a nation who hides our snacks.All the Ceilings Women Keep Hitting Their Heads On
There's a Rob-shaped hole on the new Cosmo cover.Queen Ronda Rousey Is the First Woman to Cover Aussie Men’s Fitness
She's flexin' down under.Astrology GIFs for the Week of October 5, 2015
This week's horoscopes.The Big Secret of Every Dating App: Tech Doesn’t Matter
Just like at bars, it's the crowd that counts.
He didn’t want to chat.8 Actually Good Things That Happened This Week
Baby sea turtles wearing bathing suits and a necklace for your pizza.Selfie Sorority Uses Media Frenzy for Good Cause
Take that, sportscasters.A Comprehensive Taxonomy of Men With Long Hair
And why we like them anyway.Teens Are Dying From Train-Track Photo Shoots
The popular photo destination is actually super-dangerous.‘Truly Ugly Guy With Glasses’ Is Europe’s Most Virile Man
Ed Houben has fathered 106 children — that he knows of.